Here comes the sun - Larry

CHAPTER 24

I spend the morning in Liam's bathroom. Harry sticks around, but I'm throwing up more than I'm not, so he might as well go home. I don't remember anything from after I began drinking, but I remember our conversation clearly—he needs me to make a decision, but I don't think I'm capable of doing so yet. And definitely not in this state.

"Louis," he says, crouching down next to me. "I need you to drink some water."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not, you're dehydrated."

I hesitate, but I know he's right, so I take the bottle from him. I drink as much as I can before I lean back against the wall. "I don't mind if you go home, Harry."

"I'm not going anywhere."

I rest my head against the wall, closing my eyes without saying anything. I don't understand why he's here. I mean, if he's tired of waiting for me to be ready, then why doesn't he call it off? He does have a say in this, but up until now he's kept quiet. And it's not that I don't understand where he's coming from, but this isn't easy for me. I thought he understood that.

"I'm probably gonna fall asleep soon, so you might at well go home."

"Louis," he says, sitting down next to me. "I'm sorry about what I said last night."

I don't know what to say. He might be sorry, but it doesn't change the fact the he meant it. He's getting impatient, but I can't do this when I'm not ready yet. And it's not because I'm in doubt anymore, because I know I want him, but it's only been three weeks since I broke up with Emily. I also don't know how to be his person. I know how to be someone's boyfriend—somewhat, at least—but I don't know how to be his. I don't know how to be in a relationship with a guy. I mean, I assume it's not that different, but it's still untouched territory, and I'm not ready to go there yet. I need more time to fool around with him, to figure out if I'm even willing to take it further than receiving a blowjob. I believe I am, but if we can't make it work in bed, then that's it. I know sex isn't everything, but it's important to me, and I can't be in a relationship without it.

"I'm not ready, Harry."

"I'm not trying to pressure you. I know it came off that way, but I think I just... I don't know. Maybe I'm just worried you'll find someone better."

I hide my face in my hands. "I don't want better, you oblivious moron. I swear to god, Harry, you're so clueless sometimes."

He doesn't say anything, but he can tell I'm getting tired, so he gets me into a lying position instead. The tiles are cold against my half-naked body, which is much better than a bed, not to mention the toilet is close by if I need it.

"I'll be here when you wake up."

I hum in response, closing my eyes while he runs his fingers through my hair. I don't know how long it takes me to fall asleep, but his fingers are still in my hair when I wake up again. I sit up slowly, excepting a wave of nausea to wash over me, but nothing comes. I apparently have nothing left to give, which is quite a relief.

I take the water bottle from the floor, then drink till it's empty. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"Not long—an hour or so."

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Mmm."

"Doesn't your ass hurt?"

He chuckles, shifting on the floor. "Yeah."

"Then get up. I'm done here anyway."

"You sure?"