Here comes the sun - Larry

CHAPTER 4

I wake up with a pounding headache—in Liam's guest room, no less. Niall's body is pressed against mine, his front against my back. I wouldn't normally mind, given that we're best friends, but he's apparently still suffering from being too hormonal. I grimace at the feeling of his hard-on against my ass, then find my way out of his hold. I find the bathroom so I can pee before I head downstairs, all while hoping Emily made it home safely. I find Liam mid-cleaning, but he hardly pays attention to me. I snatch a bottle of water from the fridge, then start gathering cups to help him out.

"I'm sorry about last night."

"It's fine, Louis."

"I know I'm not supposed to fool around in your bed."

"I don't care about that." 

I study him for a moment. "Liam, you know it's okay, right? If you're into him."

"I really don't think I'm gay, Louis, I just... I want him all the time."

"Maybe you're bisexual. Have you considered that?"

"I've considered every single option there is, Louis, but I still don't know. Zayn has turned everything upside down and made me question my entire existence, and I... I don't think I'm handling it all that well."

I can't argue with that, but I also understand where he's coming from. I believe sexuality is a very complex thing, something that's confusing to everyone who's questioning who they are. "I understand what you're saying, but if you want to kiss Zayn, then kiss him. I'm not saying you should tell anyone, not if you don't want to, but maybe you should figure out what it means with him." 

"Maybe."

"Do you have an aspirin?"

He smiles. "I'll get you two."

***

I spend the weekend doing homework. I hardly have time to do anything else. I feel slightly guilty for telling Emily I'm too busy to go to the movies, but in all honesty, I'm glad I got out of it. I love going to the movies, absolutely, but with Emily is hard work. I'm practically forced to pay, not just for the ticket, but also for her snacks. And it's not that I don't want to, it's just a lot, not to mention she's sitting so close to me that we might as well share the same seat. I'm fine with holding hands and occasionally making out in the back of the theatre, but that doesn't mean I want her in my lap throughout the entire movie.

I don't owe her an apology, but I still give her one Monday morning, just to ease her anger. I don't know when it became so frustrating to be her boyfriend, but I miss how easy it used to be, how smoothly we got along in the beginning. I miss the feeling that started it all, the butterflies and the tingling feeling that spread throughout my body simply by holding her hand. I don't know if I had expected those things to fizzle out, for them to simply feel familiar now, but they have, so I assume that's the way it goes. I just know I don't want to let go of her, because even if it's not all that exciting anymore, I still love her.

I shove the thought away, then push it down until it's only lingering in the back of my mind. "I have practice today, but I have time for a make-out session before I head home."

"I'll take what I can get."

I give her a kiss before her friends drag her away, giggling the way they always do. I release the breath I've been holding, then rest my forehead against my locker. It's cold against my skin, soothing the headache that's on its way.

"Don't tell me you're still hungover?"

I straighten to look at Liam. "I'm not, I'm just... tired of apologising."