How Everyone Died

How the Animals Died

Josephine picked up one of the walnuts that had been thrown at her and ate it, violently. She wanted the attacker to think she was able to kill anyone that crossed her path.

But then Josephine realised that the only person so iconic to throw walnuts at her would be Walnut. Her ex-best friend. And new found enemy. Josephine laughed evilly.

Josephine looked around for Walnut's "Barack Obama figure" but could not find it. All she saw was a pile of walnuts. Josephine got off the rock and started digging in the pile of walnuts.

And all she found was a squirrel. But the squirrel looked familiar. Then once Josephine looked properly, she realised it was the squirrel that she threw at Tris before she died of an infected squirrel bite.

The squirrel was evil and he wanted revenge for being thrown at an innocent person and being forced to become a murderer, without even knowing it.

Or maybe it was friends with Walnut, thats why he was throwing walnuts because squirrels cant talk (or at least Josephine was yet to find a talking squirrel) and the squirrel wanted to get the message through to Josephine that this attack was from Walnut.

Josephine picked up the squirrel and threw it off the cliff hoping it would die and have learnt his lesson. Josephine hoped he hadn't survived the 50 metre fall but she knew squirrels had super powers and some of them could fly.

Like flying squirrels. Josephine shivered and started crying because flying squirrels scared her. She curled into a ball and cried a lot. Until she saw a majestic, unmistakable figure. An Obamary figure.

And the only person Josephine knew with an Obamary figure was Barack Obama. Josephine approached the Obamary figure, she noticed Obama had cut off his ears. It was probably to raise money for earless people. Then she realised his face was abnormally round. Maybe he had a disease. Like ebola.

And then Josephine realised Obama didn't have a disease like Ebola, in fact he had no face at all. And it wasn't Obama. It was his brother. Nutwal Obama.

"Hi Nutwal" Josephine called out but he didn't respond.

"Wait... Obama doesn't have a brother named Nutwal. Nutwal is a weird name. Like Walnut."

Nutwal turned around to reveal it was actually Walnut. Josephine gasped, dramatically. And then she picked a walnut out of her hair that the squirrel had thrown there earlier and threw it at Walnut.

Walnuts face turned from very very very very angry to very very very very very very very very very very very very angry. Josephine spotted a bucket, she ran to it and picked it up and threw whatever was inside at Walnut.

Josephine hoped it was cold water so she could cool Walnut off but it was bricks. Josephine cried because bricks can't cool people down. Then she laughed because she realised Walnut was unconscious.

A squirrel ran up to Walnut. A familiar squirrel. THE SQUIRREL THAT THREW WALNUTS AT JOSEPHINE. She gasped, even more dramatically this time.

Then came a bird. An ugly red bird. A familiar bird. THE BIRD THAT CAN TALK AND INSULTED JOSEPHINE WHEN SHE COULDN'T GET OUT OF THE WOODS.

"I'm a doctor too" the bird said. "I can save your life. Walnut"

Josephine was angry that the rude bird had become friends with Walnut. He was very rude. Josephine wanted to kill them. She picked up a brick and threw it at the squirrel. It suffocated and died. Josephine screamed in anger.

"AHHHHH" screamed Josephine.
"Ahhhhhhh-liance insurance, that's right, how may I help?" asked the rude bird.

Josephine was angry because she wasn't insured with Alliance. So she threw a brick at the bird and he died too. But Josephine threw a second brick at the bird anyway.

"That's how you may help" she said and kicked his leg that was showing from under the brick.

Josephine ran from the crime scene back to her mountain hoping she would find a cave with no bears to sleep in because Josephine was tired and wanted pizza.

I also want pizza