How Everyone Died

How the Hair Died

Josephine walked into the hairdresser, with Hobo Bear, in tears. Her hair was touched by a dead body and she needed to get it washed, professionally, or she could of died. Ruining her plan to be the last living person on the planet.

Some people screamed when they saw Josephine and Hobo Bear. Josephine tried not to cry because the people were screaming at how badly her hair was messed up. But Hobo Bear knew they were screaming because everyone knew they were murderers.

Josephine sat in an empty chair and waited for a hairdresser to come over. Hobo Bear sat next to her and pretended he was reading a magazine about Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris, so people wouldn't know there was a homeless bear in the building.

"Tippity toppity of the morning, hi ho cheery, yin yang, please and thank you, burgers on big buses, meow" said the hairdresser.

Josephine knew this was typical British language. (A/N PLEASE DONT BE OFFENDED IF YOURE BRITISH I KNOW YOU SPEAK ENGLISH, ITS JUST A STORY THAT I TRIED TO MAKE FUNNY BUT IT PROBABLY ISNT)

So the hairdresser was obviously from Mexico. Fortunately, Josephine spoke British and knew that the hair dresser had tried to say;

Good morning, welcome to the hairdresser.

Josephine replied "Tap tap, hairy ball, washing machine, German and French tower, water, water, queen of Antarctica, unicorn hat of umbrella and rainstorms.

Which means; I need my hair washed.

"Oh ho ho, yeast, yeast, poopsham, finally clean of German towers" the hairdresser said.

Which means; Okay, I'll wash it.

Hobo Bear laughed because he didn't speak British and British language sounds stupid to Americans. Especially homeless American bears. But then Hobo Bear partied because he remembered gay marriage was just legalised in America. So now all the single ladies can put a ring on it.

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Josephine and Hobo Bear were sitting in the hair dryer things, the ones that you see in movies, the big ugly ones that probably don't even work, yeah those ones, when Hobo Bear spotted a hot bear in his magazine.

"Happy bear, hot bear, like a sunrise bear, oh oh, marry her?"

Josephine knew that this was Hobo Bears attempt at speaking British, but he couldn't do it so she slapped him. When he complained, she slapped him again.

"Stop slapping me"

Fortunately, Josephine was sitting next to a rather ugly woman with red hair and a red nose. She must be a clown. So Josephine picked up the ugly clown and slapped Hobo Bear with her.

Hobo Bear died.

While Hobo Bear was unconscious (or dead), Josephine managed to look at the hot bear, which she had named CareBear. She was in a mountain ad, in the front of the magazine. Hobo Bear hadn't read very far. Then Josephine remembered he couldn't read. Because Hobo Bear is a Bear.

CareBear was obviously an American homeless bear, so Hobo Bear and CareBear would make a very good couple. Josephine thought of forming a bear army, with the help of Hobo Bear and CareBear.

Josephine's hair was dry so she stood up, kicking Hobo Bear as she did. He was soft and kinda dead looking. Then she realised...

HOBO BEAR WAS DEAD!1!1!!3!3!3!1!1!!1!3!1!!1!2!2!-!1!???1!

Josephine started to cry. But then she stopped because she realised she didn't actually care about Hobo Bear. She pulled out one of Hobo Bear's long butt hairs for DNA or something, but she figured it would come in handy.

As Josephine walked home she became sad that she didn't have a sidekick anymore. So she decided to sing.

OH YOUR BADLY POSITIONED face AND YOUR WIDE, DEEP GRAVE, IM SINGING IN THE CAVE, GETTING DEAF, OW MY BRAIN. AUTUMN STICKS EVERYWHERE, LIKE PIECES IN YOUR GRAVE AND I CAN STAB THEM AFTER ALL THEIR PAIN.

Josephine walked home alone. But she kept his scarf that he found on the street 'cause if reminds her of killing things and it smells like pee. She can't get rid of it, 'cause she remembers it ALL TOOOOO WELLLLL YEAHHHHH!!1!1!1!2?!

Then Josephine stopped singing because she didn't want to make anyone depressed. Even though she was alone.

When Josephine got home, she fell asleep, on a rock, which wasn't comfortable, but she didn't care, because her best friend was dead, such sad. But Josephine was rudely awoken by a knock on the cave wall.

"IT WAS STILL NIGHTTIME, GO HOME YOU'RE DRUNK" she shouted.

The person started crying. Josephine didn't care. It was too dark to see who it was, but Josephine would probably kill them later.

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OH A CLIFFHANGER OH NO YOULL HAVE TO WAIT 69739392 MONTHS TO FIND OUT WHO IT IS OH WHALE I KNOW SO ITS NOT LIKE IT BOTHERS ME

okay bye