How Everyone Died

How the Donut Die or Drown Squad Died

Josephine woke up in the morning to the sound of beautiful birds singing a happy song. The sunrise looked hot and everything in the world seemed right.

But it wasn't. The city had been turned into a murder zone all because of one girl. That girl sat in a cave, waking up to the first beautiful day in a long time. But the girl didn't want to get up. She hated the sound of birds singing and decided to go back to sleep.

But someone didn't want Josephine to go back to sleep. And as Josephine did so, this person slapped Josephine with his very large hand.

The rude person had hairy hands and they smelt like fish and other horrible things. Probably a hobo.

"Leave peasant" Josephine mumbled.
"ROAR!"

If was not a person, or a peasant or a hobo. It was a big, fat, smelly, hairy, hobo bear.

Josephine ran from her cave house and up the mountain, hoping hobo near couldn't climb. But he could. And he chased Josephine to the top of the mountain.

"Please don't eat me" Josephine begged. "I didn't mean to kill the whole school, my best friend, a fab squad, some animals and whatever else"
"I love you" hobo bear grunted.

Josephine was no longer surprised at that fact some animals talked to her, but this was the first animal to not try and stab Josephine on sight.

"Im your biggest fan" Hobo Bear said and pulled out his iPhone and showed Josephine an Instagram page titled josephinefanclub. He didn't have any followers but Josephine could probably help.

"Follow for follow? Spam for spam?" Josephine asked.
"Ew no, don't be such a greedy pork chop"

But they did follow for follow anyway and then Hobo Bear spammed Josephine with love and therefore got a lot of hate from everyone who was mourning people Josephine had killed.

"My name is Barry" said the bear.
"Okay, Hobo Bear"
"But its like with a bit of an accent because my dad was an Italian moose so its like BeARY"
"Okay, Hobo Bear"

But then a brick came and hit Hobo Bear in the head. Someone from the bottom of the mountain had a very good throw so Josephine clapped.

"Hey, that hurt, don't clap" Hobo Bear hit Josephine with his left foot and she fell over and landed on a spiky plant.
"Hey, that also hurt" Josephine complained, standing up and stepping on the plant, so it died and didn't hurt anymore very innocent people.
"It was meant to hurt" Hobo Bear said grumpily.
"Oh, DONUT HURT HOBO BEAR" Josephine shouted.
"Its Barry"
"WAIT, ITS HOBO BEARY"
"Just Barry"

Then another brick flew at them and the person from the bottom of the hill screamed "DONUT DIE OR DROWN"

The brick landed at Josephine's feet. "Haha! You missed me" she chanted. But the brick looked familiar. It was covered in pieces of something dead, like a bird or a squirrel.

Josephine looked at the other brick and realised that they were the bricks she had used to kill the bird that said she couldn't sing and the squirrel.

Then she started running down the mountain and Hobo Bear followed her. As they did Josephine thought of a line for her upcoming album, Kill Now, her last one Deathless sold 1394920268294 copies in the first hour and she'd been asked to write another one.

"Baby I could build a castle, out of all the bricks they threw at me" Josephine sang to Hobo Bear.
"Baby, I can feel the gas stove" Hobo Bear sang in reply.
"Ew no, thats not the lyrics, you should never sing again, Hobo Bear"
"Barry" he corrected.

Josephine picked up a stick and turned around. "I dub thee Hobo Bear" she said, hitting him on the head 3 times, really hard.

They continued to run down the mountain and murder the person at the bottom. She'd run out of bricks and had began throwing branches and anything else she could find at Josephine and Hobo Bear.

By the time they got there, the girl had a pile of random stuff she'd found and wanted to throw at them. Hobo Bear was going to eat her, alive, that was the plan, but he wasn't doing it in a hurry.

"I know that girl" he whispered.
"What? From where?" Josephine replied.
"I donno, but I can't eat her, she seems helpless"
"She threw bricks at us, that I used to kill two very annoying animals and then she tried to kill us, which was very rude, so now we have to kill her"
"I'm not eating her"
"I'll do it myself then!" Josephine shouted.

Josephine searched the pile of random stuff the girl was going to throw, hoping for something to stab her with. But it was all sticks and branches. Then Josephine spotted a sparkly bracelet, with a sharp spike ball on it. It came from one of Taylor Swift's perfumes, Wonderstruck. Josephine could murder her with that.

"My name is Tara" the girl said, folding her arms and trying to look like she couldn't be killed with a tiny metal spiky ball from a Taylor Swift perfume.

Josephine screamed and jumped on Tara like an animal, struggling to grab her bracelet. But she got up and headed up the mountain to Josephine's cave.

Hobo Bear chased after Tara with a large stick, even after saying he didn't want to kill her.

Halfway up the hill, Tara slipped over a mysterious rock, possibly planted earlier by Josephine in the unlikely case of a murderous intruder.

She fell over and cut her knees, leaving a gross trail of blood as she got up and run behind a tree. Tara sat down in a bush, which was most likely something dangerous, like everything else on the hill.

Hobo Bear threw his stick, like a spear, into the bush. But Tara was already dead. She had lost too much blood from the small cuts on her knees from a small rock. Josephine kicked Tara because she smelt like dead person.

Together, Hobo Bear and Josephine picked up Tara and threw her down the side of the mountain so they would never see or smell her ever again. Josephine laughed evilly at her work.

Josephine decided to celebrate by going to Taco Bell but Hobo Bear couldn't eat any because he was on an all carb diet. So Hobo Bear ate grass, because Hobo Bear was a bear.

While peacefully eating Taco Bell, Josephine's aunty, Ginny walked in. Josephine was shocked because she thought Ginny was eaten alive by alligators, but she was wrong.

Ginny was with a friend that Josephine knew as Emmie, a professional murderer from Texas. Josephine had seen her on TV, she was her role model.

And then Josephine died just looking at Emmie. Hobo Bear gave her mouth to mouth but she wasn't dead so it didn't work, Josephine had just fallen asleep. But Hobo Bear didn't know this.

So he went into the Taco Bell kitchen and grabbed two packets of extra extra extra deadly hot chilli sauce and ran out of the Taco Bell kitchen before any of the employees saw him stealing sauce.

He hid behind the counter that Josephine had fallen asleep on and opened the first packet. Then he jumped and threw the packet at Emmie, hoping to kill her for killing Josephine.

Emmie gasped which was a bad idea because opening her mouth meant a lot of sauce flew in. Emmie thought it was okay but then she exploded.

There was a hole in Taco Bell's wall and dead bodies flew everywhere, but Ginny was still alive, so Hobo Bear shot the second packet at her and she swallowed it whole before exploded and killing all the remaining people who were eating their tacos.

Josephine woke up. Not because of the loud explosion but because Ginny's arm was in her hair. Josephine cried because her hair was no longer on fleek.

So Josephine and Hobo Bear went to the hair dresser to make Josephine's hair on fleek again.

YAYAYAYAYAY ANOTHER CHAPTER WHERE I KILL MY BEST FRIENDS SO FUN (oops sorry please still love me) SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING IN AGES YAY BYE