How Everyone Died

How The Floor Died

Josephine emerged from the cave that she lived in with Hobo Bear and CareBear. It had been almost 11 months since she killed someone, not including Mr Diary who got flung out the cave door and was still sitting on the floor, very dead.

The floor was angry because everyone stepped on him and pretended he wasn't there. He wasn't a doormat, he just wanted to help people not fall into a never ending pit. The floor became very depressed.

Josephine stepped over the floor as if it wasn't there. This made the floor sad so he started to cry.
"Ew, why is the floor leaking?" Hobo Bear said.
"Ew" said CareBear.
"Ew" said Josephine.
"Ew" said Hobo Bear.
"I am crying" said the floor, vERY angrily.

Everyone ignored the floor because it's the floor and it doesn't talk or cry but it did. Then Josephine spotted a Barack Obama-y shape in the distance. Josephine knew it was her arch nemesis, Walnut.

"I thought I killed you!" Josephine shouted.
"I thought I killed you!" said Walnut.

Walnut started running very fast to Josephine because she was very far away but Walnut wasn't very fast at running. When the Barack Obama-y figure came closer, Josephine realised it wasn't Walnut at all, it was actually Barack Obama, the president.

Josephine didn't care about respect and pulled out a very long shotgun that she stored up her butthole incase of emergencies. She shot Barack Obama because Donald Trump was going to be president and Josephine loved Donald Trump.

Josephine crawled next to Barack Obama's ear and whispered "Donald Trump is daddy" but he was dead and couldn't hear her.

The floor started crying again because it didn't like the taste of the president's dead body. But everyone ignored the floor again. Josephine jumped on Hobo Bear and they dramatically rode off into the distance to look for uncle Ginny.

Uncle Ginny had died twice already but it was Josephine's dying wish to meet uncle Ginny again. So Josephine went to the hospital and pretended her name was Augustus Waters and she had cancer and was about to die. The hospital believed her and let her have a dying wish.

When Josephine got to the graveyard, she saw uncle Ginny. She was ugly because she had died twice and was now a zombie. Ginny cried happy tears when she saw Josephine again. Then she cried angry tears because she knew Josephine was in love with Donald Trump.

Ginny was in love with Donald Trump too so Ginny attacked Josephine and tried to eat her brains out. Ginny wanted Donald Trump to love her and Josephine was obviously more pretty than Ginny because Josephine wasn't a zombie so Ginny had to kill her.

"Ladies please" said a very sexy voice from behind Ginny and Josephine.

Ginny and Josephine fainted at the sight of Donald Trump standing at the door of the graveyard. CareBear had called him because they were friends when they went to Sharing Is Caring School but Donald Trump got kicked out because he wanted to build a wall around the school to keep out Mexicans.

HoboBear sat on Josephine and Ginny's faces (at the same time because he had surgery to have a Nicki Minaj booty) and they both woke up and cried happy tears because HoboBear had such a nice booty.

"I am in love with my spray tan so I can't love either of you" Donald Trump said.

Ginny died. Right there. She was so heartbroken that she just died. This was the third time Ginny had died. It wasn't sad because Josephine didn't like Ginny anymore.

"Rip" Josephine said.

Josephine picked up Ginny's dead body and threw it at Donald Trump because he didn't love Josephine. Donald Trump died because Ginny smelt so good.

"You smell nice" said Donald Trump's dead body.
"That's because i'm wearing wOnDeRsTrUcK." Ginny's dead body said.

Josephine left the graveyard and found Nick, the homeless man who probably won't read this because he didn't answer my snapchat that one time at Ginny's party but he wanted to be in the story so why not.

"Feed me" said Nick the homeless man.

Josephine fed Nick some of Ginny's arm which she was saving to eat later. She was very generous to give any of it away. Nick died because Ginny's perfume was too good and it turned all Nick's guts into flowers. Then he exploded.

Suddenly the floor started crying again because it didn't like the smell of Ginny's perfume. Josephine was so offended that she quickly turned her Donald Trump fanpage into a hate page for the floor.

"That is rude" said the floor.
"Shut up" said Josephine.

Josephine sat down and did a really big fart that she'd been saving up since last night. She was on her period so it smelt even worse.The floor died. Everyone is walking on the floor's dead body. Ew.

Josephine sat on HoboBear's head and they ran all the way to Macca's to get some chips because they wanted to play Macca's Monopoly. Josephine peeled off the sticker on her chips and scanned it with her stolen iPhone 8 that had a headphone port. Josephine got a property that she already had.

She was vERRYYY ANGRYYYY. GRRRRRRRR.

She took her stolen iPhone 8 up to the counter. Amy was working at the counter.

"I am angry" said Josephine.
"Oh no" said Amy.
"I wanted to win a trip to the white house so I could steal all of Donald Trump's stuff but you gave me Lloyd Street and I already have that."
"Can I get you some more chips?" Amy asked.
"Yes" Josephine said but she was secretly plotting Amy's death.

Josephine ran outside and stole a homeless man's guitar, he was trying to get money from his guitar playing but he sounded worse than Jacob Sartorious. She took the guitar back inside just as Amy had finished making Josephine's chips.

Josephine started playing Ronan on the guitar and Amy fell to the ground because Ronan is the saddest song in the whole hecking world. After Josephine had finished playing the song 14 times she hit Amy in the head with the guitar.

"That's for ruining your snapchat streak with Cali" Josephine said.

(IM KIDDING PLEASE STILL LOVE ME I KNOW YOU WERE BUSY)

Josephine stole all the chips and chicken nuggets and ran away from McDonalds and to the pools. She went swimming 29 minutes after eating her chicken nuggets because she wanted everyone to know she was a rebel. Then she went home to sleep because sleep is nice.