Sandcastles | Completed

35 | xo

• • •

Kensley Parker

Blowing hair out of my face, I turned the instructions to the side as if that'd help, then looked back to the wall mount that didn't seem to want to be mounted.

"I am... a strong independent woman." I encouraged myself while picking up one of the pieces, "Now either you gonna go on this wall, or you going out the window. Choice is yours."

As I put the drill to the wall, I heard my phone. I paused to ensure that I wasn't imagining things, before tossing the drill on the bed and going to answer it.

It was Jailyn. Again.

I wasn't ignoring her, I was just distancing myself.

To my surprise, there actually was a term for it, not really medical, more so psychological. A traumatic experience, even though she hadn't experienced it directly, causes the brain's stress regions to become active.

A healthy reaction would be for them to disengage when the 'threat' is gone, aided by a hormone, oxytocin. That same hormone is stimulated by pleasurable social interactions.

I'm guessing she and Elijah had pleasurable social interactions.

I wasn't sure why I spent so much time looking into it, or why I wanted to understand it, but I did. Gain insight into her thought process, and it still didn't really make sense to me.

Nor did I feel any different about the situation, making it very pointless.

Glancing down at my phone that had started ringing again, I sighed and answered, "Hey."

"You busy?"

"I was tryna' mount a TV but I'm finna throw it out the window instead."

Zi laughed, "Make Eli do it. But, aye, Jai just called me– Say she finna have the baby and nobody answering the phone. I'm onna way to her house, but if you can go to her mama and them house right quick that'll help out a lot."

"Okay." I looked around the room for my shoes, "Yeah, I'll go over there."

• • •

Elijah Baker

"It showed me the wrong way to go about certain situations, which in turn showed me the right way."

"Right and wrong are subjective to the person." Dr. Thomas was writing something on his pad, "Children need role models. Whether it be an actual parent or someone who assumes the parental role. You've explained to me that you didn't have that, so it's understandable why you're struggling."

"I wouldn't say struggling."

"How would you describe it?"

My eyes floated around the room while I tried to think of a description, "You said right and wrong are subjective, and I agree. I know when shit is wrong, but if I wanna do it... I'ma still do it regardless of if it's right."

"And that leads us back to role models. A child has to be taught how to navigate their moral compass– No one showed you how. I'm not placing the blame solely on your parents, as you're a smart man, I'm sure you know the difference now, but we're most impressionable when we're children. You got the wrong impressions."

I thought as soon as I came in here, he'd diagnose me and send me to the crazy house. Zi was the one who recommended him, saying it's the same one he used to see. That was news to me that he had a therapist at all, but I took his word for it and saw the draw.