Beauty and the Beast

Family

Shehnaaz

I looked at the man in front of me, Sidharth seemed unfazed as I got flashbacks of the gun and bodies.

"who are you?" I ask one more time and he goes to walk closer but I hold out my hand. "Stop, whatever you have to say. Say it there"

"shehnaaz..." he sighs and I look him up and down, now noticing his arm in a sling but in this moment I didn't care. People he knew jumped out of cars and shot people, shot people who shot at us. He's not just a businessman.

"Just don't panick okay? You have trust me" he says.

"will you tell me now?" I ask and he runs his fingers through his hair.

What the hell im getting into?

"I'm the Boss of the shukla Mafia. Took over for my father when I was 19"

My jaw dropped and I couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying, "What about the people who shot us?" I ask trying to get a full picture.

"That was ranjeet singh, he's my enemy and they targeted you because they think you're my woman and hurting you, will hurt me. He's also the man who killed my parents" he finishes, a look on his face I didn't recognise and my jaw drops again at this new information.

Why do I always get caught up with the wrong guys?

"What does that mean? You got me caught up in this? I'll never have a normal life again? I'll have to get used to the killing, guns and drugs?" I ask, throwing the pillow that was on my lap at him and he caught it, tossing it to the side.

How do I go to work knowing I've got a target on my back? How can I be normal again?

"I know it's hard and I should've told you sooner but...I felt something with you. I know I fucked up" he tells me sincerely and I probably would've fallen for it but I don't know who this man is anymore.

"You are selfish and I hate you for ruining my life" I snarl. For once it isn't me.

"I know, I know" he shakes his head and I scoff.

"What am I meant to do now? Mahi too? Advik and harsh? What do you expect me to do in this Situation sidharth?!" I yell at him, getting off the bed.

"T know it's stressful but I promise we're a family, take all the time you need " he tries to reassure me but my fear and anger lead me and my emotions.

"I can't be with you sidharth, I can't do this" I shake my head, feeling tears build up. I lost my best friend, I heard the gunshot. How can I be with a man who's surrounded by death and guns?

"You can leave anytime you want. Go back to your job, your life just don't make any permanent decisions yet. Pls get Nixon to take you home" he says, an apologetic look in his eyes before he walks out the door.

I scoff in shock. I nearly got shot and killed, now there's people after me and I'm involved in some gun, sex, killing organisation! How do you go back to a normal life after that?

They all lied and brought me into this, something I didn't want nor ask for.

All I've ever wanted was to make rishi proud and accomplish his dreams as well as mine. I got a tattoo for him, sadly I didn't have the talent to be an artist or the patience.

But a mafia isn't exactly what I expected.

But maybe rishi's right, everything happens for a reason. I just can't wrap my head around any of this, how do I transition knowing every Minute my life is in danger?

Advik escorted me back to my house. The whole car ride was silent, well he wanted to speak but I didn't want to hear it. I haven't talked to sidharth or mahi or anyone since this Morning. I walk up to my door with the bag full of some of my stuff after finding out mahi dressed me.

"Thanks" I bluntly say to advik who walked me to my door. I unlock it, Open it and enter without looking him in the eyes. As I go to close to it he stops it.

"shehnaaz, I'm sorry. I wish I could've told you but I promise it's not as bad as you think. The public eye has such a negative view on the mafia and although it's not sunshine and rainbows we are a family" he says and I shake my head.

"If you wanted me to get to know you all and believe those words, you wouldn't have lied because now I'm going to have to spend my whole life fearing for the worst"

"There will be security at your house 24/7 and someone will come to work with you each day and wait outside. You won't even know they're here" he says and I sigh,

"bye advik"

I shut my door, put the bag on the ground and go to my couch. I lay down on it, not really wanting to do Much else as I close my eyes.

every time I do I get flashback of guns, blood and bodies.

Im not made for this life. I'm terrified.

There's a difference between Setting bullied and being strong and joining the mafia.

There's a difference between taking the gun out of your dead best friends hand and shooting someone because you don't have a choice.

There's a difference between a family who does illegal shit for a living and the family I wanted.

Where do I even begin to understand everything though?

Deep down I know they're not bad People, they're the same people I Met, they've never acted different to Me, they're nice, caring. They seem to talk about each other with love.

Maybe if I understood it, I'll be able to fear it less.

I'll never be able to kill a person, hell, I won't even be able to hold a gun but maybe I'll give this 'mafia family' a chance.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

And I don't have a choice.

______

When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.

—Jeannette Walls

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