Words Left Unsaid

Words left unsaid : Isabelle

He pulled, well more like dragged me into the hallway.

I've been avoiding him and he knew that.

"I'm sorry." He said

That word,that fucking word . I knew it was coming. To me the word sorry has been so carelessly used that whenever somebody uses it I usually walk away from them.

Whenever someone says I'm sorry, ,they're never sorry for what they did but they're sorry that they got caught doing it and that's why I hate it.

"No you're not." I told him

"I am, Belle,I am!" He says to me sounding desperate.

"You're not sorry because if you were you wouldn't have done it in the first place." I told him calmly.

He knew I was right, I knew I was right ,we both knew I waa right.

"Please Belle, I didn't mean to hurt you like that-" He starts to say but I cut him off

"But you did! Don't you understand that? You knew what you were doing the moment you left me, again." I say

"But like the dumbass I am I took you back." I said scoffing

"We can fix this Belle,I'm sorry and I feel horrible for leaving you like that." He says to me, his voice full of remorse.

What a dick

"We can't fix it, we were never together. "

Yep this is a classic case of a situationship gone wrong folks.

"It's okay.  I tried and tried but obviously I was never a priority to you but it's okay cause you're not obligated to care about me . I read the signs wrong and that was my fault,I really do hope you live a good life and I hope that someday you won't be going through whatever it is you're going through right now." I said to him

I was tired,I was tired of feeling used and confused all the time .

I know I deserve more than that,I deserved better than a half ass apology which will probably be useless in the next couple of weeks.

I don't want to let myself down like that again.

For the first time, I let myself be vulnerable, I opened up to someone I thought I could trust but that obviously didn't work out.

I'm not mad at him,I'm grateful to him . He's showed me what I don't want and reminded me that I deserve better.

And you know what the worst part is? I really liked him. For the first time in forever I liked someone but looking at what happened I'm starting to wonder if I'm better off alone.

I don't mean it in a pessimistic way but in a realistic one . I think hat maybe I'm just not cut out for this game of love and that although I know I'm ready to date,I don't think I should.

I turn around and start walking away from him, I hear him sigh , he sounds defeated.  I felt bad for the guy but it was his own fault.

"Isabelle!" I turn around and look at him.

"I just wanted you to know that I didn't mean to hurt you, I care about you....a lot actually and I just want you to know that I'm working on myself,I want to be better for myself , so I can be better for you as well . I don't want this to be the end of us Belle . And I hope that one day,whenever you're ready, you'll know that I'm here,waiting for you. " He says to me in a nervous but determined voice.

I don't say anything to him because I dont know what to say , so I just nodded and started to walk away again,the sound of my shoes being the only thing heard in this latge hallway.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I felt proud of myself,I stood up for myself and didn't let anyone walk all over me .

Way to go Belle