Promising The Moon - 《Jaywon》

no.19

That night . Jay laying in his bed , thinking about what happened with him and jungwon. Smiling like an idiot . 
Placed his hand in his chest near his heart , feeling his heart beats,  faster than usual. He felt happy.

After all those time , he was always sad a lot of problems , crying , but tonight he feels different, hugging jungwon really makes you feel better .

Changed his position, laying in his left side, in his left side was the window , he wondered if jungwon is still there. What is jungwon doing all alone, why isn't jungwon telling jay about his life .
But jay didn't care that much....as long as jungwon is by his side , it's better than nothing.

'Soo....something better than best friends' jay thought with a smile in his face , feeling his cheeks go red and hot . Was he blushing.

Again changing his positions, this time looking up at the ceiling, at the moon that he painted. Looking thinking deep . Having deep thoughts.

He always wanted to meet someone, and love him and at the end promise him to the moon , you might wonder why , it's that see.....his parents doesn't accept him for being gay, he is grounded, having a lot of problems with his life,  he doesn't have time for that someone , what if he get bored by jay .

Jay was scared, and he feels like he is dying , he knows that he might die someday and that someone wont be happy so why not promise him to the moon,  at the end of the day that promise will bring happiness.

Thinking and thinking all night , holding a pillow in his hand , hugging it , imagining like hugging jungwon . Like that pillow is jungwon.

Some times have passed and jay finally fall asleep , with jungwon in his mind.

'I think ...i have found that someone' .

.

Jungwon ....why does jay meets him only at night , why isn't jungwon telling the truth but what truth , there's nothing wrong , this is jungwons life.

Everytime he will meet jay at 4 , he wants to meet jay more early. He cant , he just cant, who is stopping jungwon from meeting jay in the day light too?.

The morning when jungwon hugged jay , jungwon felt alive, like first time touching a real person ,someone who is alive .

Jay and jungwon felt the same but they don't know about it , but maybe soon they will found out,  maybe?!....

Is this the night that changed them , is this the night that made Jay to realize that someone out there is truly caring about him and not hating him, is jay finally realizing that maybe he doesn't love jungwon as in friends or best friends. Maybe he loves jungwon more than that , true.

Jay sleeping peacefully. With a smile on , his smile didn't fade , but soon it did . Hearing strange voices coming,  calling for him . Saying his name .
Sweat dripping down his hairs , he felt hot. Wanting to open his eyes and take a breath cuz he felt like someone was taking his soul , he doesn't want to die , not yet.

"Wake up"

He heard it, who wants jay to be awake , jay can hear everything even though he is asleep, was he asleep thought?. Or he just couldn't open his eyes and see what was happening.

Shaking his head , trying to get up from the bed , he felt like he is paralyzed, couldn't move , couldn't speak even couldn't breath that well.

Suddenly he was dreaming , dreaming about...

A road ....the road that he always sees in his dream , a car , the car that he drives a lot, his favorite car but why was his car covered with blood .

Jay was seeing his car , in the middle of the road , the car doors both open . Jay was curious to see who was inside.

Walking slowly, approaching his own car , his heart beating really fast ,he kind of got scared about this , walking and he finally arrived , looking at the driver's seat.

Gasping , covering his mouth, he couldn't believe it.

Why was he seeing himself?. Him on the seat , covered in blood,  did they crashed,  it looked like it .

Jay then looked at the front seat and he got even more shocked, was he jungwon .......why is jungwon in his dream ? Everything is messed up ....

"Park jongseong.....wake up"

That's it  , jay finally opened his eyes , breathing,  taking deep breaths , he breaths now normally, he can move too , looking around the room and he notices that he was in his own room .

The sun shines, it was daylight .

'What kind of dream was that?' Jay thought..

.

Thank you.