Promising The Moon - 《Jaywon》

no.24

He finished his check up,  the doctor did his job , he made everything ready and left the room , closing it. Jay in his bed , laying flat chest .

Spacing out , jay woke up in the middle of checking up and he regrets it,  he didn't know that the doctor will check his anal . He couldn't move now because of the needle.

Laying in his bed half naked, crying , why....why did his dad do this to him , ofcourse he haven't slept with a boy . Taking breaths , looking at the time it was like 2 in the morning.

Soon he will have to meet jungwon, which he doesn't wan't , he is scared , so scared , you don't know how bad jay is feeling, that he wants to die , is this day Jay's last day.

Jay doesn't want to live anymore , he wants to die, he is already dead. His body filled with pangs and he wants to scream,  scream that everyone can hear him. Kill himself in front of his dad so his dad can notice what is he doing.

We know there's a lot of homophobic people but his dad was to much . "I'm your son " jay said to himself.

"Don't you love me as your son?huh" jay again spoke. He wants to yell at his dad and cry , but his dad will not feel bad if jay cries in front of him , his dad have a strong heart. Why jay doesn't have a strong heart. Having a weak heart is not good , always crying.

He stayed in his bed for some times and got up finally, he was about to got up and the first thing he did was to go in the bathroom and shower,  wash the nasty thing in his body . Shaking , his body was shaking a lot , he wants to rub his skin , to peel it , he doesn't love himself . He hates himself.

.

Doctor choi walking down the stairs,  with a guilt face on, he should have trusted this young boy,  jay .

Mr.park was in the living room, waiting for doctor Choi. He heard footsteps and got up with a smile in his face . Choi approaches mr.park .

"So ....?" James asked , waiting for an answer. Doctor Choi looked down "I'm feeling sorry for you son mister james " doctor choi said .

"Why....what happened?" James asked this time .

"I should have trusted him and you too....I'm sorry to say this but you shouldn't have done this ...I dont know why did I accept this order " doctor Choi said .

"Can you be more clear..I don't understand what are you talking about?" James asked doctor choi.

"Your son haven't slept with no boy or girl" the doctor said and james smiled, he was glad about it that he wanted to chant and yell YES.

"I'm feeling sorry for checking on him when he begged me to not do that ...again mister james ...your son doesn't deserve this " doctor choi said .

James inhales deep and let it go , sighing "I made my decision...you can go now " james said and doctor nods , bowing at him and left . One of the maids bid him good bye .

James sat down in his favorite chair . Ms.park didn't know about this cuz she have a lot of works , I'm not saying that she supports her son and that she is fine with her son being gay , if ms.park knew this she wouldn't allow it , jay is their son .

One of the maids brought james someone to drink "thanks" he said and took A sip of it . Thinking.

'I shouldn't have done this to my son ' james thought and relaxed his body on the soft chair .

.

The time came , faster than jay imagined it , it's time to meet jungwon.
He wore clothes and acts like nothing happened . Looking through the window, seeing jungwon , he is waving at jay with a smile in his face , showing his dimples.

Jay didn't do nothing he goes down on the yard , jungwon looks at him , hoping to see a smile in Jay's face but he didn't.  Jay didn't smile , he didn't even look at jungwons direction,  walking straight,  going to their place .

Jungwon was confused and he followed jay from behind "wait for me hyung" jungwon spoke trying to catch with jay .

'What's wrong with him?' Jungwon thought.

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Thank you.