Promising The Moon - 《Jaywon》

no.18

'I want to find that someone ' he again thought.

Looking at the moon in his ceiling, he really wanted to promise someone to the moon . He knows it will make that someone sad but.....jay can't live like this , he will never date a boy.

"Now ...niki isn't here anymore ..." jay spoke to himself, niki was like Jay's younger brother, jay really wanted to tell niki everything, about jungwon , and how they meet , he wanted to share his story with jungwon, no one will hear it , he doesn't have no one now who he will talk , only jungwon. And that is enough.

He is glad to have someone like jungwon, he knows it's a little bit strange because he doesn't know nothing about the younger one , he waits for the time to comr and to know about jungwon, everything.

He looks at the time and he decides to sleep , he couldn't wait to meet jungwon, he wanted comfort, he wanted jungwons hug and hopes that he will receive it .

.

Same dream ...same time , same feeling,  waking up at 4 , with sweats in his back , his forehead, maybe he is sweating because of the dream but he wasnt so sure about it . I don't think it's the dream ,  its something else but he can't figure it out , he will one day but not now.

He had to change his clothes, suddenly feeling sad , relaxing so he doesn't cry . He will meet jungwon now and he put a smile on his face . Checking himself in the mirror. He also was embarrassed because of what happened the last time he saw jungwon.

He hopes that jungwon wont bring that up . Looking at himself one more time and left.

Going down as always, jungwon waits for jay as always , with a smile on , he wanted to make jay feel welcomed.
Jay wanted to smile back but he couldn't, suddenly his cheek muscle stoped moving,  he couldn't bring himself to put a smile on .

Jungwon looking at jay , his smile dropped too" are you okay.....dont tell me that something else happened?" Jungwon asked .

"Let's go ...please " jay said and continued to walk . His voice sounded sad to jungwon which made him to feel bad about Jay , he got really close with Jay and he doesn't want to see jay crying and sad . Jay deserves to be happy .

Sitting in that place as usually, jay didn't said nothing, looking down in the sand , he felt so so sad that he wants to break into crying, seeing jungwon it made jay to cry and he doesn't know why . Are those tests of joy ?.

"Hyung~~" jungwon spoke,  placing his hand around jay , petting his back , having a sad smiled on . Jay feels that his heart just skipped a beat , jungwons touch was warm .

"Jay hyung....please dont be sad" Jungwon again spoke,  jay sniffs , ready to cry. Jungwons voice was soft and cute , but made jay to smile,  a sad smile to be honest, jungwon was to pure for this world.

Jay looks at jungwon , his eyes red , tears hanging in his eyelashes, slowly those tears dropped when he saw jungwons face .

"No please" jungwon said , he doesn't know what was happening but he sure doesn't want to see jay cry in front of him . It just hurts to see Jay's tears , a smile in Jay's face suits better than those lonely tears.

"I cant ....I cant jungwon " jay said this time crying even more , the tears dropping like a rain , he had a lot of tears.
Jay wanted to hug jungwon so bad .

" hug....hug me please " jay said and jungwon didn't thought twice,  pulling jay into him , placing his hands one around Jay's back and one around his neck , jay doing the same .

Crying even more when he hugged jungwon, jungwons touch , he was crying now because of jungwon, he just craved for this hug, and he felt that something will happen between them . Something bad .

Jungwon this time started to move his hand up and down , showing jay some love,  jay needs love . Crying making noises .

"Hyung...please dont cry....you have me here " Jungwon said , he felt a tear drop . He doesn't understand why was he crying,  because of jay?. Maybe . His heart hurt for jay, its like he can feel Jay's pain .

Some time have passed , they stayed hugging each other . No one spoke and jay wasn't crying,  he calmed down .
Spacing out,  thinking about something.

"Jungwon" jay spoke, breaking the silence,  jungwon hums , jay broke the hug and is looking at jungwons eyes , seeing himself in those shiny eyes .

"What are we ?" Jay asked .

"What do you want us to be?" Jungwon asked back.

"I don't know....since we're already close ....best friends?" Jay said , not really liking the idea of being only best friends.

Jungwon chuckles at it "I thought we were already best friends " he said.

"Then ...what do u want us to be?" Jay again asked.

"I dont know ....but something more better than best friends " jungwon replied. Jay smiling shyly.

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Thank you.