Afraid (Lesbian Teacher Student - Alex Vause/Piper Chapman aka Laura Prepon & Taylor Schilling (OITNB)

Chapter 10

Ohh, damn. I am so, so sorry guys for nothing updating. It's been a month. Fuck. I really am sorry and it's just that I'm going throug my depression, problems at family, myself, ex gf and etc. A lot of crap in my life. Don't worry about it, I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's day and every other day. I've been feelin' really crappy for past few months and I feel like it's going worse but whatever haha

So, here's the chapter. It might not be long bc it's the first time I'm gonna write it after a month and I totally forgot how to write stories and I have no motivation to do it but here it's anyways. :*

*****

Laura and I went on a date, I guess? I mean she asked me out so yeah it's a date. And I'm anxious about it. I've never felt this way about anyone before and this woman is like a wizard, like she put some kind of magic on me. It's impossible to be ''normal'' aroud her.

We are driving in her car and I have no clue where we are going. If I was driving with someone else I would definetly shit my pants because I'd be scared a lot. But, she's not like the others. She's something, something special.

''Where are we going?'' I ask.

''You'll see'' she looks at me and smiles.

I'm restless, I wonder where are we going.

''Come on, tell me. Are we there yet?'' I whine.

She lets a small laugh and says ''Yep, we are here. Let's go.''

I came out of the car and we were on the till. Woah, it's so beautiful. All those lights from all houses and shiney starts above us are incredibly wonderful.

While I was shockingly look at the view, Laura in the meanwhile put the blanket on the group and food. I guess we are having a picnic.

After eating and having fun, we sat there in a silence. Not in an awkward silence, comfortable one.

''The view is stunning, isn't it?'' she asks.

''Yeah, I can't believe I have never visited this place before. I'm speechless, this is the best night ever.'' I say and we stare at each others eyes.

She leans and kisses me. ''This is just the beginning, I haven't showed you the real fun yet'' she winks and smirks. ''I wanted to tell you something, but I don't know how.'' she looks down and I can see she's nervous.

''What is it? Is everything okay? You're scaring me.'' I say and look worried.

''I wanted to tell you..... that uhm... I lo-'' she says and gets interupped by the phone.

''Fuck'' she curses. She picks up and says ''okay, we'll be right there. Okay, don't worry. Thanks, bye''

''What's going on?'' I ask.

''I'm really sorry, but it was Tom. Something came up and he can't be here any longer. So, he asked if I could come back because of Spenc.'' she says.

One more reason to hate her husband. He has to ruin everything. I'm so pissed off. Why can't I just have a normal date with her without brining him into everything?

''Okay.'' is all what I said.

The ride home was awkward. I felt like she was trying to say something but stopped. I also wanted to say something, but it's better while I don't say anything because I would let my anger out and we would fight. I don't know how much longer I can take this. But, since she said that something came up and he has to go, guess it will be fine? I hope so.

I'm still mad at her because I feel like she'll do anything for him, and nothing for me.

I understand the situation with Spenc, it's all fine but I just hate how Tom has to ruin everything for us. I feel like he knew about our date, but it's just probably only my stupid imagination.

She stopped in front of my house and said ''I had a nice night. I'm really sorry again, I'll make it up to you, I promise.'' she leans and kisses me ''Goodnight'' I say and kiss her back.

My brother Mike is spending a night because he is babysitting Malik and Tasha.

As I came into the house I saw Mike asleep on the couch.

I came to the couch and cover him with a blanket so he wouldn't feel cold, don't want him to get sick or something and I turned off the TV.

I check out on Malik and Tasha and they are in their rooms, sleeping. My baby angels. :)

It's 11 o'clock. I jump on my bed without taking off my clothes. I feel like crap.

I can't stop thinking about Laura. What if she'll never love me back? Ohh, waiittt a minute. Did I just say ''love me BACK'' oh crap. I love her. That must be the reason why I get so jealous and all those feelings for her. What if I'll never be good enough for her and that she'll always think that I'm some kind of immature teenager. I don't even know where the fuck Laura and I stand at anymore. Whenever we have a nice time, something always needs to come up.

OKAY, I'M REALLY SORRY GUYS. YES IT'S SHORT, I DON'T HAVE ANY ENERGY OR WILL TO WRITE MORE RN, JUST WANNA GO BK TO MY BED AND MYB SLEEP OR LISTEN TO MUSIC.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, AND THANK YOU FOR READING. IDEK WHY ARE YOU READING THIS WHEN THIS IS A PIECE OF SHIT TBH LOL KAI BYE LOVE YA :* :) xoxo