Finding You

Chapter 1 - Calm Before the Storm

I don't want to go to school.

I know, I know. Big deal, I'm just like every other teenager in the world.

But I swear, I have a good reason.

I don't want to go because I don't want to see him.

Him being my ex-boyfriend, Sean.

It's been a week since everything happened, and honestly? I still haven't really figured out how to fully process it, let alone how to be around him.

I mean, how are you even supposed to act around the guy who just dumped you?

All week, I've been putting large amounts of energy into stopping myself from wondering if he's texted me, wondering if he's going to take it all back or change his mind, or at the very least, apologize.

You'd think that after almost a year of going back and forth with him, I'd get that at least that, but no. Radio silence.

So when my alarm goes off this morning at exactly 6:30am, the first thing I feel is a nasty pit of anxiety and dread forming in my stomach.

I'm not ready to see him.

Even after a week of extra time, a week of sorting through my feelings, a week of living in absolute denial, I'm still not ready to see him.

You see, after breaking the news to me, Sean left for a basketball tournament the very next day, along with most of the other boys from our junior class. They've been gone for a week, and I haven't spoken to him since.

Honestly, besides the sports updates during the daily morning announcements about how the team's doing, I haven't heard a single word about him. It's made it a lot easier to live life for the past week like he doesn't even exist.

At first, I was grateful for the extra time. There were fewer people in the hallways whispering as I passed by, fewer people that I had to explain myself to, fewer people staring at me.

But that's all over now. The boys are coming back to school today.

I hear a couple of sharp raps on my door, snapping me out of my thoughts, before my mom's voice comes through. "Mia! Are you up?"

I resist the urge to roll my eyes before responding because I'm almost certain she'd somehow see it through the door. "Yeah, I'm up."

"Spoken like someone who's not even out of bed yet," she calls back. "Hurry up, or you'll be late."

See? Like I said, she can see through the door.

It's only when I actually sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed that I remember the other reason that today is going to absolutely suck.

Track & Field practice is starting today.

I shut my eyes again tightly and press the palms of my hands into them until I see spots, trying to push away the thought of it so I can breathe.

It doesn't help, but I stand up anyway then give myself a mental pat on the back for even making it that far.

Good. Solid start. Just take one thing at a time, Mia. One thing at a time, and you'll be home before you know it. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself.

Crossing the room, I grab my white blouse from where it's hanging up on my closet door and slip it on. Buttoning it up, I take a quick look around my room for where I may have tossed the pleated skirt that goes with my uniform.

Yes, I go to one of those schools. You know, the private schools you see on television where the girls wear blouses and pleated skirts, and the boys wear slacks, dress shirts, and ties. No blazers though.