Finding You

Chapter 24 - Put Some Heels on for God's Sake

"Mia," I hear Rose call. "Where you at?"

"In the closet," I call back, and I hear footsteps approaching.

"Well, why don't you come on out buddy? It's for the best," she says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

I peak my head out from behind the closet door and narrow my eyes at her. "Haha, very funny," I say. "Now if you're done messing around, could you please help me figure out what to wear?"

Rose lets out a laugh. At least she thinks she's funny. "Yeah, of course," she says. She walks towards my tiny closet and starts rifling through my clothes. I decide to let her handle it and sit down on my bed, falling back onto the growing pile of clothing that covers the blanket.

"How am I supposed to know how to dress for this?" I ask. "I've never even been on a real date before."

"What do you mean? You and Sean used to go out all the time," she says.

"No, we used to 'hang out.' That was what he always called it at least," I say, staring up at my ceiling and wondering how I could have ever let someone treat me so badly. Seriously, how did I not see how full of crap he was sooner? "Besides," I continue, "we hardly ever went out anyway, considering I had to lie to do it. Long story short, we never went on an actual date."

"Aww, so this is like your first real date?" she gushes.

"Yes, mom, and I don't want to mess it up so I need to find something to wear that'll make me look half decent," I reply, sitting up.

Rose stops going through my closet and turns to face me, hand on her hip. "Mia, do you know how much this boy likes you?" she asks. "You could show up in a paper bag, and he probably wouldn't even notice."

I let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I doubt that," I say, falling back on the bed again. "I just want everything to be perfect, you know? Even if it's just for tonight." Maybe then, I can finally start to believe that this isn't all just a fluke.

"I know," she replies.

"No, you don't," I say before letting out a sigh. "Rose, I've never done any of this before, and it's freaking me out," I begin, staring up at the ceiling. "All off a sudden, it's like, I can't think when he's around, but at the same time everything makes more sense when I'm with him. There are times I just cannot breathe when he's next to me, but when he's not, I miss him so much it's suffocating."

"And the way he looks at me," I continue. "Usually when people stare at me, I feel inadequate, but when he does it.. I don't know, it makes me feel like I'm enough. Like maybe I'm okay the way I am. God, I must sound so stupid, I don't know what's wrong with me," I finish with a short laugh, covering my face with my hands.

When I finally look up, Rose is smiling at me like she knows something I don't and is really getting a kick out of it. "Wow, you're really in love with him aren't you?" she says finally.

I sit up. "No, I'm not."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "Why not?"

"Because it's too soon for that," I reply quickly. "If that were true, that would literally make me the biggest idiot on the planet."

She crosses the room and sits down next to me on my bed. "Mia, come on, it's not like it's a bad thing."

"How do you know?" I ask. "What if he doesn't feel the same way?"

"Of course he does," she says. "Honestly, I bet he's somewhere having this same conversation about you as we speak."

I shake my head. "There's no way," I reply. "And even if he were, love is such a strong word. People say it all the time without meaning it, and the last time someone said it to me.. I meant it, and he didn't, so how would I know if Hunter means it?"