𝐘𝗼𝐮 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐘𝗼𝐮 𝐊𝐧𝗼𝐰 𝐌𝐞 ⚤ 𝗆𝖺𝗍𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗉𝗈𝗅𝗂𝖻𝗂𝗈

not in the right mind

2 am | same night

i couldn't sleep.

i looked over at Blue next to me and carefully got out of bed. i walked out the room and went downstairs to the kitchen

i went in the cabinets and picked out a glass cup. i took out a bottle of wine and poured me some.

then i went in my stats drawer and took my cigarettes and lit one in my mouth. i went to the table and sat done.

drinking and smoking

i know it's bed but it was the only thing that made me feel better at the moment.

I honestly I haven't felt this way in long time, i was so upset that Mattia really makes me feel this way about him.

i hate it .... and i hate him

all i want is some one to talk to. i looked around the house and then I remembered something, i stood up and went back into my drawer. i moved everything around searching for it.

then i found it .... the number

i picked up the house phone and dialed the number.
and with out thinking i called it ...

... damnit

what she doesn't answer ?

would she even care ?

it's late she probably sleep-

someone picked up the phone interrupting my thoughts ....as i stayed silent

"hello" i heard her say

I didn't say anything, i was scared. all you could hear was my soft breath.

"....Nelly" she said as her voice changed into worry "uh ....hi mom" I stuttered a bit

"you called" she said as i heard the happiness in her tone "uh yeah ....uh are you busy" i said trying to sound normal

"no. it's like 2 am" she said "....look uh i need some one to talk to" i said straight forward

"send me your address and i'll be oh my way" she said in a soft tone

I wasn't expecting that ...

"uh ...ok ok" i nodded

i sent her where i was and i hung up the phone. i sat back down not believing what i just did but it was to late I didn't have time to panic.

AN HOUR LATER

as i sat there waiting then i heard a knocked on the door. i quickly drunk the last of my drink and put out my cigarette and walked to the door and opened it.

then ...there she was, my mother

she looked at me worried, I didn't give much of a reaction.

"come in" i said not making it awkward, she nodded and came in

i closed the door and walked her to the kitchen. i poured her a drink not even asking her and we sat down at the table

"...nice house, uh really did this on your own" she nodded "uh kinda and thanks" i said

"....so i know it's been a long time that we've talked and i know you saw me at the store with-