Lead Me Out Of The Dark. {Austin Carlile Love Story.}

Chapter 40:Remembering Sunday.

My eyes were closing and I was fighting to keep them open. I was feeding Robert. He just wouldn't go back to sleep. I was so tired, I was in a lot of pain too. Of course Austin went out to the bar with the guys. Tino insisted.

I finally had enough of sitting here. I wanted to go to sleep. I looked down at Robert to see him asleep. I sighed in relief and got up. I gently laid him in his crib. I kissed his head and turned on the baby monitor. I closed the door an inch or two then left. I walked towards mine and Austin's room when I heard Robert cry again. I sighed and turned right back around. I walked towards his crib and picked him up and gently cradled him in my arms. "Robert please just sleep." I mumbled. I started singing When You Can't Sleep At Night to him. 

Here in this world I’m awaked with mistakes
But its love that keeps fueling me
Fueling me
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes
Would you show them to me?
I know I’m not that perfect
But you stay awhile
Baby, then you will see
Miles away I can still feel you
Lay your head down on my embrace
My embrace
Far away…
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes
Would you show them to me?
I know I’m not that perfect
But you stay awhile
Baby, then you will see
Don’t give up, Baby
I know that its shaky
Just let love consume us
Consume us…
Here in this world I’m awaked with mistakes
But its love that keeps fueling me
Fueling me to love you
Miles away I can still feel you
Lay your head down on my embrace
Be not afraid to love me…
Pretty little lady with your swollen eyes
Would you show them to me?
I know I’m not that perfect
But you stay awhile
Baby, then you will see

I looked down at him to see he was sleeping once again. I smiled and kissed him then laid him gently in the crib. Let's hope he stays asleep this time. I walked out of the room. I was dragging myself to my room. I walked over to the dresser an pulled out one of Austin's shirts. I got undressed and put on his shirt. I smiled and turned off the light. I laid down and got under the covers. Finally sleep time.

I was finally falling asleep when Robert's cries woke me up. I shot my eyes open and sat up. I looked around for Austin but of course he isn't home yet. I got up and flung the door open. Austin is going to hear it from me. I was the one who gave a painful birth and he's out having the fucking time of his life right now.

I walked into Robert's room and picked him. I cradled him in my arms but he just wouldn't stop crying. I tried singing but it didn't help. I was getting frustrated with myself. Why couldn't I just put him to sleep? I was in so much pain. My back was aching, my head was pounding, it felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach. He just wouldn't stop. I checked his diaper but there was nothing in it. I tried feeding him but he refused. I started crying in frustration when I heard somebody at the door. I looked over to see a very drunk Austin just standing there staring. He pissed me off. "GO AWAY AUSTIN!" I screamed making Robert cry louder. "Shhh." I rubbed Robert's back and cradled him.

"Let me see him." Austin slurred. He stumbled over to Robert and I. "Get away from him Austin, you're drunk." He backed away. "Whatever." He walked out of the room and into our room. Robert finally started calming down. I sang to him once more and he fell asleep. I laid him in his crib and put the soother in his tiny mouth. I walked out of the room and closed the door.