Out of the Blue

Chapter 5

On Monday morning, all my anxieties came barrelling in, breaking through the walls I'd spent a week building. I could feel tingles in my fingertips from the moment I woke up. Classes never made me nervous, so I knew, without doubt, what was causing this reaction.

The possibility of seeing Justin.

I'd well and truly accepted it was going to happen, but that didn't curve the paranoia pulsing through me as I stood in the line at the campus café. When I walked through the doors, I scanned the tables, keen to spot him if he was around. It would give me the advantage, or at least give me a few extra minutes to prepare. But he wasn't there.

I made it through my mid-morning coffee and croissant without seeing him. I had even chosen a spot in the corner where I could view the whole room and the two entrances. But no, he didn't show.

Then I walked to my first class and sat through an introduction lecture without event. It calmed me down somewhat, knowing he wouldn't be there. Justin was older than me and had started university a year earlier, so he was highly unlikely to be in any of my classes.

When I went to the campus bookstore, which was crowded with students eager to purchase their course materials, I was sure he'd pop up out of nowhere and surprise me like he had that time at the bar. But he didn't. In fact, I didn't see Justin at all on Monday.

Surprisingly, I felt disappointed, which was also frustrating. I shouldn't be disappointed, but I hyped myself up so much about what I would say to him that I couldn't help it. Now I was annoyed all the stress was for nothing.

On Tuesday, I felt a little better. Justin hadn't made an appearance and I almost forgot about him. I even managed to order coffee and lunch at the café and eat the whole sandwich without worrying he would walk through the door.

It was a nice day, so I chose to sit outside where the sun could provide a little extra warmth. I was flicking through one of my new textbooks when a familiar, intoxicating scent caught my attention. I sat upright as a shadow loomed over me. I knew exactly who it was without turning around.

Justin held a coffee out in front of me. "Hey, Ellie Bean. Can I join you?" Ellie Bean. I wasn't sure how I felt about him using my childhood nickname so often.

"S-sure," I stuttered, cringing at the fact I couldn't seem to function in front of him. At the bar, I was coming up blank and couldn't respond. Now I was tripping over my words, and we hadn't even started a real conversation yet. It was kind of pathetic.

I cleared my throat as he moved to the other side of the table, coming into full view. "Is that for me?" I questioned, trying to be confident and trying to ignore how good he looked up close. Sitting outside prevented me from keeping an eye on both entrances to the café. He obviously snuck in the other door without me noticing and ordered two coffees. One for him, and apparently one for me.

Justin's lips turned up in a smirk. "Skinny macadamia latte," he announced confidently as he sat down. I still couldn't believe he knew my favourite order. He really did pay attention to me all those times we stood in line together in awkward tension. At least, it was tense on my side. I had no idea what he was thinking or feeling.

I reached for it, and as my hand grazed his, I felt that all-consuming tingle return to my fingertips. My heart started racing and I did everything I could to remain neutral. It hadn't done that since last week. I couldn't let him see how his presence affected me.

Now it was Justin's turn to clear his throat. He placed both his hands around his coffee cup and shifted slightly. Did he feel the same thing? Unlikely. It was just me and my undefined emotions going haywire.