ᴠᴀᴍᴘʏʀᴇ || ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ ꜰᴀɴꜰɪᴄ

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞𝟛

-나는 그들의 것, 그들의 내 꺼야-

"seungcheol hyung told me about what kai said" he said, "do you really believe him?" he asked me

what kai said was a bit of a stretch but it made sense in a weird way. it explains why i've always felt like an outcast most of my life, it might also explain why i somehow always find myself surrounded by vampires, but that might just be because i was raised by them

but i also had my doubt about what he said. what if he has the wrong person? what if i'm not the girl he's looking for?

i wanted what he said to be true in some sense. it would mean i'm special. that i was born to do something

but on the other hand, if what he said was true, it means that one day i'll forget about the guys. i might forget the people that raised me and took care of me. the people i love with my whole heart. kai said that one day i'll remember my old memories and become a different person in an instant. i like the person i am, i like being me. i don't want to be selene, i don't want to become someone else

someone that they won't recognize. someone that soonyoung, nor cheol, nor wonu, nor mingyu will recognize, someone that jeonghan, or myungho, or vernon, will know. someone none of them will know

i don't want to become a stranger to them

i love them and i always want to be with them

"i'm not sure" i muttered into his chest, "i don't even know if i want it to be true. if it is, it means i might loose you guys and if it isn't, then he lied to us" i said

"yeah, i suppose"

he picked me up bridal style, slightly making me panic, and he placed me on my bed and he laid down beside me, taking me into his embrace once again. his actions took me by surprise

"i almost believe him though" he patted me head softly, it was comforting. "kai, or jongin, is a very old vampire. it would be complete nonsense to assume he's as old as the greeks" he said

"i looked into the legend of the moonlight goddess selene, ambrogio was an italian man who fell in love with a woman, selene, from the temple of apollo. it's said that apollo was angered when he saw that he was interested in selene so he cursed him so that he would be burned by sunlight" he explained, "but he was determined to make selene his so he started writing letters to her with the blood of swans he hunted. eventually artemis took pity on the lovers and gave them refuge in her temple. ambrogio was gifted with immortality from hades and he watched selene die on her death bed of old age. by then he was already a vampire and then she became a vampire as well" (a/n the actual story is actually super romantic, you guys should search it up)

"it's almost romantic" i looked up at his face, "jongin isn't italian, is what i'm trying to say"

"the legend could have gotten it wrong, you know. legends and myths always get something wrong" i hugged him tighter

"maybe" there was uncertainty in his voice and i could see his eyebrows were furrowed

we stayed in that position for a while. seokmin was always a comforting person to be around. he's someone that's easy to talk to. he makes you laugh once and then suddenly you find yourself talking about your life story to him. it's always been hard to keep secrets from him. even what i was younger he would always find a way to get all the secrets from me; but i've managed to keep some things from him

like the reason for my scars...

"are you going to tell me what you're going to do about my brothers' confessions" he asked me suddenly. it really shouldn't have been a surprise, he said that he wanted to talk about it and how i'm feeling about it, but his words still shocked me

"oh" i hummed, "i'm not sure" i sat up and escaped his hold

i looked at him in the eyes and i opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. almost like the words escaped me, i didn't know what to say

i had to look away from him with a disappointed look

"areum" he brought his hand to my chin and once again forced me to look at him, "it's okay if you don't want to talk about it" his eyes were soft and his words were kind

one day i'll have to explain myself to them

why not start now, right?

but i don't even know what i'm going to say

i'm not sure where to begin

eventually, i'll have to tell all of them everything, not just this, but also what i went through after coming to paris, what seungcheol, soonyoung, joshua, and myungho now know about me

why i tried to end my life

right now i'm not prepared to explain that, but i think i can explain this

"no, it's okay. i need to explain it to someone. might as well be you" i chuckled a little and held his hand

"i am conflicted about it. i love them. but i'm afraid that one day they'll make me choose one of them" i said, looking at his hands in mine, rubbing them a little, like a small distraction, something i could fidget with to calm me down a little. "neither my heart nor mind will ever let me choose between them... i just can't choose. i don't want to hurt them and i also don't want to hurt myself by choosing... mingyu suggested something though"

i stopped myself for a moment, trying to think of a way to explain what he said

"he- he said that maybe- he suggested that if i didn't want to, i could just not choose. he said that i could enjoy them all" i chuckled a little, not really believing he said such things, "that they wouldn't be mad about it. he said that they love me enough to allow that... but what if- what if they think i'm some sort of slut" the words came out in a small, trembling voice, breaking a few times and a tear slipping down my cheek

"hey hey. they would never think of you like that" he wiped away the tear and pulled me close again

"i'm sure they'll be fine with whatever you choose" he cooed, "i can see the way they watch you when you aren't looking, and the looks of admiration and love they always have on their faces when you talk to them" he said

he slowly stroked my hair and he had a comforting hand on the small of my back

maybe he's right

mingyu said the same thing

but i'm still not sure what i should do

or what i should choose

"but areum" his voice was serious this time, "are you sure you love them? they're my brothers and you're also someone i care about. i don't want to see either of you guys hurt"

i do

i love them with my whole heart

they make my heart flutter and they make my heart race

it feels like i can't think correctly sometimes when i'm with them

"seokmin, i really do love them" i looked down with a small smile, just the thought of them makes me smile

"i just hope one day, i don't become a burden to any of you. i'm sure i already am" i muttered the second part, "i don't want to cause trouble for you guys"

i heard him chuckle a little, "a burden is something you're forced to carry against your will, we chose to keep you. you'll never be a burden areum" he had a wide smile on his face

his smile made me feel warm and it unexpectedly made me feel butterflies

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