park areum, the girl that was found in a ditch by a vampire that took pity on her and decided to raise her along with his twelve brothers. she grew up not knowing that she was being raised by bloodsuckers. the thirteen men that took care of her watc...
we had woken up a few minutes ago. our bodies were a naked, tangled mess in the morning. his head was in the valley of my breasts and my hands were playing with his hair, enjoying the stillness of dawn before the birds started singing, and the people flooding the streets to get to their jobs and responsibilities.
the stillness of the morning was always my favorite. when the world felt like it was frozen and there was still condensation on the windows from the cold night.
(a/n i'm writing this on january 24. i live in south florida and for the first time in my life, i saw condensation on my window because at night it hit 43°. it was so weird)
the dew still trickling from the leaves and the air chilly, the bed would be the only warm place.
"hmm," he hummed, feeling the vibration in my chest.
"do you ever wish you never turned into a vampire?" i looked up at the ceiling as i spoke, watching the fan go round and round, mesmerized at its movements.
"yes."
there was no hesitation in his voice when he said it, like a predetermined answer he always had ready when asked.
"why?" one of my hands when to his back, tracing circles with my index finger.
"i've killed countless people. if i had never become a vampire, there wouldn't be any blood in my hands. i became a monster," he finally opened his eyes, his chin laying on my sternum.
"the man that turned us, killed all of us. because of him, our entire village was killed because we lost control. because of him, i watched my sister die."
"you had a sister?"
"yes. you two would have gotten along well," he chuckled.
"none of you have ever told me the story of how you became vampires," he pulled us to the side, our chests against each other, and now i had to look up at him.
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"it happened in 1350," he chuckled, "a servant from the royal family was staying at the village we lived in. he never told us why he was there. all we know is that as myungho painted his portrait at our home, he had also been putting bodies of plague victims near houses."
his hand went to the back of my ear, moving his thumb back and forth.
"eventually, the plague spread and we were infected. my sister was the first to fall," he sighed, "one night, as we laid in our chamber, dying from the plague, he came in, fed us his blood, and killed us."
"why did he do it?"
"we never got the answer to that question. he was dead by the time we awoke," he pulled me forward so that our foreheads were touching.
"but, if we had never turned, we would have never found you, and i could never regret meeting you," he kissed the top of my head.
"i'm glad you don't regret that at least," i chuckled.
and then everything became still again.
i think for normal people, the silence, stillness of the morning causes them anxiety like there is going to be an imminent danger, but you don't know when. i think they're tense about what the day will bring. will it be a good day? or will something horrific happen? will i die? will i live, love? will i be happy?
but the possibilities of the day, its unpredictabilities, are beautiful. it is life. it makes every day seem interesting, something to look forward to.
i used to be blind to its beauty.
i used to cower away in my room, too depressed to even think about the good things in my life. too swallowed up in fear and sadness.
but with time, i finally saw it.
it didn't happen overnight, it took months before i changes, for me to see again.
"vernon," i said, "i need to tell you something," i leaned into his chest, my ear able to hear his heartbeat; his steady strong heartbeat. it was so calming.
"what's up?" he hummed, his chest rose and fell with every breath he took.
i sat up, pulling the sheets to my chest.
i should start somewhere. if i promised myself and seungcheol that i would tell all of them about what i did, or tried to do, i need to start somewhere, anywhere; because if i don't start now, i won't ever tell them.
i took in a deep breath.
it's going to be okay, i recited to myself, almost like a prayer.
"a few years ago," i started, "two years after you guys left, i..." i paused, looking at his expression, not knowing what i would find.
he sat up as well, his hand holding mine. "what is it?"
"i tried to kill myself," i finally said. my heart was jumping out of my chest, and it was so loud that i could hear it beating in my ears like a drum.
back then, i was so hopeless, i was so insufferable.
too wrapped up in my head to realize all the good i still had. too afraid that i wouldn't see them again. that fear consumed me for two years before i couldn't take it anymore.
"what?" he furrowed his brows at me, his head tilting forward and to the side the slightest bit; his entire body had tensed, too startled to know how to react.
i wasn't sure how'd he'd react, i was hoping, praying to the universe, that it would be okay. that he would comfort me and tell me it's alright, that i'm okay now. (a/n this makes her sound like an attention seeker...) and that telling him would lift some weight off my shoulders.
but he was just frozen.
i decided to tell them because i don't want to keep all my secrets. i want to live these last few years with the least amount of guilt as i could.
"are you okay?" he suddenly said.
"i'm fine."
"it was a long time ago," i continued.
he pulled me into a sudden hug, "i wanted to tell you, all of you because you deserve to know. you guys are my family, the guys i love." i hugged him back.
"does anyone else know?" he said with his lips to my neck, his words sounding muffled. "seungcheol, myungho, soonyoung, and joshua know," i muttered back.
it felt great to tell him. it wasn't like last time that i felt bad for telling seungcheol and myungho. this time was different.
-time skip-
-june 25th-
"areum, wake up," mingyu burst into my room. he expected to see me all curled up in bed, still sleeping. but he was surprised to see me sitting at my desk, fully clothed for the day.
i was finally graduating.
after years of suffering because of school, it's finally coming to an end. i didn't think it would be in this way, hiding away from people that were trying to kidnap me, but the day is finally here. no more deadlines for assignments, stressing over a test, or staying up late at night doing work.
it was finally over.
"you're ready?" he stood behind me, his hands naturally falling on my shoulder as if it was something we always did. "i've been ready for a long time."
