𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗱𝘆, han seojun

˗ˋ 45

╭ ╮
━━━  " 📂 " ‍..⃗. ༉

𝙍 𝙀 𝙈 𝙀 𝘿 𝙔

! chapter forty-five ─── ʚĭɞ

╰ ╯

Quite frankly, Miyeon didn't know what to make of everything. On one hand, she was glad that neither Jugyeong nor Seojun had enjoyed their dates or felt a connection to the point of going out again, but again.. the idea of it made a swinging feeling appear in her stomach. It just felt wrong.

But she knew she loved him. She knew she did, and she knew he had been trying to process himself and his feelings and she knew she had offered to wait but... they had only just recovered from their second biggest fight - of course, the first had been prompted by undeniable and unexplained anger following Seyeon's death and was followed by Miyeon moving to New York for the year - and it was fair to say that they had gotten to a point with each other where they were comfortable again.

Because then there were no feelings, just friendship. But as much as Miyeon wished for herself to just be able to mute her feelings down, she knew there wouldn't be a chance now. She loved him. And he loved her, and he could finally - finally - admit it freely, without worrying about developed feelings from other people which had confused him or her.

She hadn't been able to drink that much after that, sipping on a glass of beer with one or two shots of soju as her former classmates and more recently combined group of friends drank their way through several green tinted bottles. Seojun neither. They knew as trainees they weren't too keen on them getting blackout drunk, but it was easy to say that Seojun and Miyeon were laying on the lower boundary of that restriction, and not playing around with it either. They were too serious now, eyes flickering over to each other every few minutes amongst conversations with their friends, ensuring to keep checking on them as they got drunker and drunker. They even participated in some of the more amusing conversations, including the one in which Sooa professed her love for shopping and Jugyeong complained about her job for at least fifteen minutes and Hyunwoo, who wasn't so bothered about the no drinking rule, alongside Chorong had developed a deep conversation on their workout routines. 

Miyeon didn't know what was going on, or whether or not she was really relieved or instead worried. She didn't know what it was.. if she was just plain stupid to not jump at the chance or if she was right in being cautious. It might have been the alcohol, but with a sudden thud of her heart and a sickening feeling in the pit of her stomach, Miyeon found herself worrying. 

What if they tried it and they didn't work out? What if they permanently ruined the steadily built friendship that had built up between them? What if it had been too long and there had been too much going on and now, despite getting the chance, they weren't prepared for a relationship? What if, considering their upcoming debuts and not exactly knowing the dating rules within their company - not that Seojun cared, Miyeon severely doubted he would stick to that rule and happily date her whilst simultaneously duping the company as they both succeeded with their various activities - they didn't have time for each other at all?

What if they broke up? What if they broke up and had to see each other at the dorms and the company? What if they broke up and it created a divide between the two groups, considering that all eight of them were insanely close friends and living in very close proximities?

"Miyeon - you're pale, have another... drink." Sooa's words were jumpy and certainly not the answer to the Hwang girl's paleness, but it didn't stop the drunken girl from reaching for another bottle and placing it in front of her.

Miyeon stared at it for a moment, the label, the green-tinted wood of the table behind it, the eyes on her above the label. He was watching her again, heard Sooa's comments and now saw the troubled expression Miyeon had honed and developed from her overthinking. 

"I..  I'm good, Sooa. Really. Actually, I think I need some air, you lot all get so sweaty when you're drinking." Miyeon looked between them as they laughed, noting the pink sheens over their faces and Hyemin fanning Chorong's face with her hands. She was another one who wasn't as drunk as the others, but wasn't at the level of sobriety Miyeon had managed to maintain. 

"Awww.. you're not fun." Jugyeong pouted, straightening up from where she leant on the idol trainee as she stood up. "No fun... you're no fun. And neither are you!" Her hand was pointing towards thin air, but move it a few inches to the left and it would be landing on Seojun.

"Well, in that case, I think I'll get some air as well." Seojun proclaimed, eyes glinting at the horror that flashed across Miyeon's face. "Is that not okay with you?"

"What?" She coloured pink, although it might have just been the side effects of the little alcohol she had drunk. Miyeon picked up her bag, holding her gaze as she made her way towards the door. "What? No - it's fine. You can do whatever you want. You're own person." She added, reaching for the handle.

Seojun dug a hand into his pocket, following her to the door. "And you're getting flustered." He commented, bombarded by the cold air as they stepped into the night. "You don't usually get flustered, Miyeon." He added.

"I'm just.. confused." Miyeon replied sharply, glancing around before heading towards a nearby, low wall, sitting down on it.

"About?"

"I think we should have a conversation.. about things now that you and Jugyeong aren't doing.. that." Miyeon fiddled with her thumbs, gaze turned towards the floor.

"Yeah, alright." Seojun nodded, watching her with eyes filled with some unnamed, warm emotion. 

❛ AUTHORS NOTE ━━ i would like to apologise profusely for me not updating for precisely 62 days. originally it was because i had my exams, but coming into the new year i found it increasingly hard to balance my time to update the amount of books i did before i took my break, but hopefully i'll be getting back into the swing of things soon and updating this perhaps every one or two weeks, depending