sweatshirts in the summertime| l.mh /ft. p.js

chapter 18

I'm laying in my bed, on my back, staring at the ceiling. My eyes are still red and puffy. My face is stained with tears. I force myself out of bed and go into the bathroom. I splash my face with cold water and at least try to look like I slept.

I walk down the steps and head out the door. I walk to school slowly to try and avoid seeing Hyuck and Jisung. I don't have the heart to tell the news again. Lucky for me, everybody's already left for class by the time I get there. I walk into class with my head down. I sit down next to Lia. "I'm surprised you're here Anjae, you're very strong." She says rubbing my shoulder.

The whole school day I was the quietest I've ever been. A few people asked me if I was ok, but I just nodded and kept walking without looking up. When lunchtime came, I couldn't bring myself to eat. As soon as the dismissal bell rang, I walked straight home. I didn't even see Jisung today.

When I walk through the door I go straight to my room and don't come out. Not even for dinner. I just need to be alone.

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A week passes and I follow the same routine everyday. This morning as I'm getting dressed, I noticed my bones were a lot more prominent. I've lost a lot of weight. I haven't been able to bring myself to eat. I decide to wear a sweatshirt, even though it's summer. I want to avoid drawing unnecessary attention to myself.

The only person I've spoken to within the past week is Lia. She has been very patient with me. We're at lunch right now. "Jae, you need to eat something." She states. "I know but I just can't. I don't know why." I lay my head down on the table. This isn't like me at all. I normally love food and I can't get enough. Something in me shifted.

The dismissal bell rings and I'm walking home. I'm walking a lot slower because I feel weak and I'm burning up. "Anjae!" A familiar voice calls after me. He runs up to me and pants to catch his breath. "Jisung..." I want to cry. I haven't spoken to him in a week. I feel like a terrible friend. I didn't even tell my best friend that my dad died. "Hey, it's ok. I heard the news from my mom." He pulls me into a tight hug. I definitely needed it.

Jisung's POV

I haven't spoken to Anjae in a week. I wonder if she's ok. I heard the news about her dad from my mom. I'm a little upset that I didn't find out from her but I understand. I'll just talk to her today. I see her walking home. She's wearing a sweatshirt? It's like 90 degrees outside.

I run after her. "Anjae!" I shout her name. I catch up with her and catch my breath. "Jisung..." her voice is small and it sounds as if it's about to break. "Hey, it's ok. I heard the news from my mom." I pull her into a tight hug. Has she always been this skinny? Something's not right.

"Can I come over today?" I ask her. "Sure, my mom would appreciate the help." "Alright, let's go." We walk through the door. Her mom greets me. "Hi Jisung, it's been a while. Nice to see you." She gives me a smile. "I'm sorry for your loss and I'm here to help with anything you need!" I bow to her. "Thank you sweetheart, you and Anjae can just help with the dishes."

After we finish the dishes, Anjae and I go to her room. There's a question I want to ask her, but I don't want to be too blunt. "Umm Anjae, can I ask you something?" I try to think of a better way to ask what I want to know. "Sure" she turns to me. She doesn't look like herself. I'm worried.

3rd person POV

Jisung's question caught Anjae off guard. The answer is not something she was ready to face. "Uh.. low iron. Yeah I've been kinda cold." She tries to lie. Jisung's sees right through her. He places his hands on both of her shoulder. He's taken aback by how skinny she's become. He looks her directly in the eyes. "Don't lie to me, Anjae." He presses. Tears begin to fill her eyes. Jisung's expression softens at her emotional state. He pulls her into another hug.

"Why Jae?" He asks her. "I don't know, I just haven't been in the mood. I don't even feel like myself. I feel weak." She stares down at her fingernails. "Jae, please let me take you to get food. You need to eat something." She reluctantly nods. "Ok let's go." Jisung says grabbing her hand and leading her down the stairs.

Jisung takes Anjae to their favorite restaurant. "Do you want our usual?" He asks her. "Yeah, that's fine."  Jisung orders the food. Two cheeseburgers with fries. While they're waiting for the food, Anjae notices Jisung looking at her. Staring at her. "Is there something on my face?" She says clearing her throat. Jisung snaps out of his trance. "Oh, um no. You're good." He didn't even know why he was looking at her like that.

Something in Jisung shifted. He has the sudden urge to protect Anjae from anything that could ever hurt her. He tries to convince himself that he's staring because he's worried, but he can't lie to himself. It's something deeper. His thoughts are interrupted by the food arriving. "Before we eat, Anjae please don't ever starve yourself again. Something terrible could have happened. I would never forgive myself." He tries not to break down.

"I won't Ji." He extends his pinky to her. "Promise?" She wraps her pinky around his. "Promise." She smiles at him. "Ok! Let's eat!" He announces. Anjae takes a bite of her food. "Thank you, Jisung. I can't believe I deprived myself of something so amazing for so long. I'm sorry for making you worry." She tries to smile at him. "Just don't ever do it again." Jisung says sternly. "I won't. I promised, remember?"