Chapter 15

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Medyo r-18

"Ano nga 'yong sinabi mo?!"

He was wiping my face with his handkerchief when I asked him. Tipid lang siyang ngumiti sa akin at umiling. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I removed the picnic blanket he covered around my shoulder earlier. Hinila ko pa siya sa gilid ng tindahan ni Nanay Flor para hindi siya mabasa, inilagay ko sa balikat niya 'yong picnic blanket pagkatapos.

"'Wag mo nga akong alalahanin. Ikaw, kakagaling mo lang sa sakit. Baka mabinat ka," sabi ko sa kaniya.

Mayabang niyang pinasadahan ng palad ang kaliwang balikat. He even flex his left biceps. "Hindi na ako magkakasakit 'no," he arrogantly said.

"Ewan ko sa 'yo, Ash. Kapag ikaw nagkasakit hindi na talaga kita aalagaan. Baka sungitan mo na naman ako," nakangusong sagot ko sa kaniya. I even crossed my arms.

"'To naman, nagtatampo pa. Lika nga." Binalot niya rin ako sa picnic blanket, niyakap niya ako mula sa likuran at ipinatong ang baba sa kaliwang balikat ko. "Sorry na nga. Gano'n lang talaga ako kapag may sakit."

"Nakakatakot ka pala kapag masungit," sabi ko sa kaniya habang inaalala 'yong mukha at attitude niya no'n.

"Kaya nga ayaw kong maging masungit. Mas hinahabol kasi ako ng girls kapag gano'n," mayabang ulit na sabi niya.

Hinampas ko lang siya sa braso at umirap kahit hindi niya naman ako nakikita. Ang hirap talaga spelling-in ng ugali niya. Paano niya kaya napagsasabay-sabay 'yong pagiging makulit, mayabang, nakakatawa, at pagiging matured niya?

"Ash? May itatanong pala ako." I gave him a quick glance over my shoulder.

"Ano 'yon, Primrose?" tanong niya na naman sa mababang boses.

"Naalala mo 'yong sinabi ko sa 'yo kagabi? I told you to stay away from Pearly. Would that be fine with you?" nag-aalinlangang tanong ko.

I was overthinking last night if I really have the rights to make him stay away from Pearly. Gusto lang namin ang isa't isa at pakiramdam ko hindi ko pa p'wedeng gawin 'yon hangga't wala kaming label.

But regardless of our feelings, I don't think it is someone else's duty to make me less insecure about it. I mean, they have no control over me since the only person who can control my life and the way I think is myself.

Pakiramdam ko rin, wala akong karapatan na pag-isipin pa sila sa mga bagay na toxic sa akin.

"Oo naman, Primrose. If it's for your peace of mind, I'm willing to do it," agad niyang sagot sa akin.

"Really? It's my toxic trait, Dashiall. Kaya ako hiniwalayan ng dalawa kong ex dahil sabi nila nasasakal daw sila sa gano'n kong ugali." I laughed bitterly. "Ayon, naghanap sila ng bago. They cheated on me."

That must me the reason why up until now, I couldn't figure out if it is right— to make your partner stay away from someone that causes you jealousy.

Ash immediately caressed my right hand as if he was telling me to calm down. "Shh. Hindi mo kailangan magkwento, Primrose. I don't want you to be sad," he said as he gave me a comforting kiss on my left temple. He even tightened his hug on me.

"But I want to overcome it, Ash. I just don't want to feel insecure anymore because of someone else. I have to overcome it so I could fully allow you into my life." Into my heart.

I wasn't really good and I really didn't want to voice out my thoughts especially if those are all about my feelings to someone, naiilang kasi ako kaya palagi kong idinadaan sa actions.

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