His silence always bother me. Alam kong may mali kapag bigla na lang siyang nanahimik. The problem is, he doesn't tell me what made him upset. He keeps it to himself... All the time.
As if I wasn't here to help him.
"Ash, kanina ka pa tahimik. May problema ba tayo?" I tried to sound calmer even if deep inside, I was annoyed.
Sino ba namang hindi maiinis? Simula nang magkita kami kaninang umaga, ganiyan na siya. We were supposed to be enjoying our day and each other's presence as we're celebrating our fourth monthsarry. Pero paano ba naman ako mag-eenjoy kung 'di ko naman ramdam na masaya siya ngayon kasama ako?
He gave me a side-glance and held my left hand on my lap, he caressed it with his thumb. "I'm fine."
I wanted to show him how upset I was for making me feel like this. For making me feel like he doesn't need me whenever he's facing something in his life. Gusto ko siyang irapan at ipakita na masama ang loob ko sa kaniya pero kanina niya pa rin ako hindi matingnan ng deretso sa mga mata.
Ngayong pauwi na kami, he really focused himself on the road while driving with one hand. Inalis ko ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa kaliwang kamay ko at tumingin na lang sa labas ng bintana. Gusto kong umiyak... Palagi na lang kasi siyang ganiyan. Hindi niya ako binibigyan ng pagkakataon para tulungan siya.
He always says,
"I'm fine, Primrose. Don't worry."
"Don't worry about me, love."
"Ako pa ba? Makita lang kita, okay na okay na ako."
Every time those words were coming out from his mouth, I tried to prolong my patience. Palagi kong sinusubukang intindihin na hindi lahat ng problema niya kailangan niyang sabihin sa akin. I always wait him to ask for my help but he never did. Ni isang beses, hindi niya ginawa.
Hindi pa nakakapag-park nang maayos ang kotse niya tinanggal ko na ang seatbelt ko at lumabas nang walang sinasabi. He called my name but I did not look back. I bumped into someone while walking, I didn't look nor apologize to that person.
Naabutan ko si Ara na nilalaro sa living room si Mocha pero hindi ko siya pinansin. Padabog kong isinarado ang pintuan ng kwarto ko pagkapasok doon. I turned on the aircon of my room before I walked over to the bed and falled down onto it, face-first.
Nanlalabo ang paningin ko habang nagta-type ng text kay Ash. If only I could make him see through this text how hurt I was, I would. Tears finally streamed down my face after I sent him my message.
Ako:
You're making me feel like you never needed me when you have a problem. You don't know how to communicate properly. You only do it when it's convenient for you.
Pinatay ko ang cellphone ko nang tumawag siya. We're just going to deteriorate this if we're going to talk to each other right now. I didn't want to talk to him now that a lot of queries have been running on my mind.
I know he trusts me. I know he's true to me. I couldn't just seem to accept the fact that even after being with him for almost two years, I still didn't know him... at all.
Before I finally dozed off to sleep, I silently asked Him to help Ash with his problems if he really doesn't want me to help him. In His presence and love, he won't be alone, too.
"So open your eyes and see... The way our horizons meet... And all of the lights will lead... Into the night with me..."
As I heard someone's singing, I convinced myself I was in a dream—in a paradise. I opened my eyes and after seeing Ash, that's when I came to realize I wasn't dreaming. Never in my life I had imagined myself waking up by a serenade of an angel.
YOU ARE READING
When The Flower Withers (Fleur Series #1)
Romance"Love is like a game. You have to learn how to play carefully so you won't lose and the game won't be over for you." After Evienne got cheated on twice, she never believed in love again. From then on, she became the woman she never thought she would...
