buzz buzz
shutting my eyes tighter, i hid my head under a pillow, determined to ignore it.
buzz buzz buzz
i groan and aimlessly wander around for my phone, so i can turn the damn thing off.
buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz
that finally makes me open my eyes in defeat, making me scramble to remember every detail of my dream. i was having a real good fucking dream, the kind you wish you never had to wake up from. it sounds kind of dumb, but it was about this cute guy that asked me out and we went to the beach together. even though in real life i hate the beach, that dream was the closest thing i've felt to love in a while. come to think of it... that guy kinda looked like jensen. i should stop.
when i finally get a hold of my surroundings, it's bright as fuck outside. blinding. i finally squint enough to find my phone, and it's still buzzing with about 50 notifications per second. after rubbing the crust out of my eyes, i can see they're all from taylor.
bitch: HEY
bitch: BRO
bitch: HI WELCOME BACK OMG
bitch: IM. COMINH OVER. TO UR HOUSE
bitch: RIGHR NWO. IM ON THE SUBWAY
they just go on and on and on... detailing every part of his journey
bitch: LOL SORRY MY CARD GOT DECLMIBD
bitch: *DECLINED I NEED TO RENEW IT
bitch: IMME BE KINDA LATE ILL B THERE IN 5
the fuck is he talking about? what could he be doing so early in the morning.
i glance at my phone and the time reads 2:34 pm.
well, shit.
bitch: JUST KIDDING
bitch: IM. HERE NOW IM LIKE
bitch: OUTISDE
it's still way too early for this shit, how does anyone have that much energy. i literally just woke up and look crusty as fuck, but it's ok, i'm not trying to impress anyone. all my clothes are still in the suitcase, so i just pulled out an old hoodie from middle school and strolled out in my pajama pants.
ding-dong ding-dong
dingdongdingdingding-
bitch: LET ME KN OMG
bitch: IM SO EXCITED YEDD
oh my god, i cant take this anymore. please, he's acting like i've gone off to war and it's been years. wait, i guess it has been years. he'd literally still act like this when i saw him in class 15 minutes ago, though. nothing has changed. i've barely changed either, i basically look the same but somehow grew 6 inches that one summer 2 years ago, so i'm 6'2". the hoodie was so oversized back then, but it's practically a crop top on me now.
i feel like if i leave taylor hanging for one more second, he'd break the doorbell, so i fucking fly down the stairs and swing the door open.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! HEY!"
he jumps up to hug me, but i just stare out into the distance, mouth agape like an idiot. my brain literally cannot process what's happening, i already feel damp tears on my chest. i need a second.
so much for saying nothing's changed, i hardly recognize him! back in 9th grade, taylor was a wannabe hype beast, fuckboy, soundcloud rapper type beat, but now he's standing here in a pastel pink cardigan and plaid pants. i mean, i guess i've kept up with him on instagram but honestly i didn't retain any of it, it's not like i'm stalking him every day to see how his aesthetic's changed.
i look down and i can only see the top of his head, he's basically eye level with my tiddies. he's always been a bit shorter, but shit, he's gonna resent our height difference tenfold now.
the warmth from his hug feels so soft and comforting, like a thick blanket on a winter day. surprisingly, his tiny body has a lot of might and he's basically squeezing me so hard i can't breathe, but i don't mind.
taylor looks up at me, teary-eyed, and punches me lightly
"never do that again, ok? never leave me like that"
now i start getting weepy too and pull him in tighter, resting my head atop of his
"i won't"
his voice breaks.
"promise?"
if i used my full voice, i probably would've started sobbing like mad, so i replied in a whisper just loud enough to hear
"promise."
suddenly, i became vividly aware of my surroundings. the soft hum of cars on the busy street, the sweet scent of flowers and overripe fruit that's fallen off the branch, the soft knit wool of taylor's cardigan, the late summer sun relentlessly beating down on our backs. even the swaying breeze tumbling a plastic bag along the sidewalk seems beautiful. everything is beautiful.
just then, a figure rounds the corner. we make eye contact for a split second, and my heart starts thumping a million beats per minute, like it's trying to escape my chest. the person gives me a little wave. it's jensen.
oh shit, he's hot now.
/they r reunited! ayy! also forgive me i forgot what it feels like to have a crush fr but i miss it sm so i'm tryna channel wholesome crush action again! hell yeah!/
