in the three minutes since jensen texted the group chat, i've gotten out of bed, brushed my hair, got dressed, and am now lacing my shoes at the door.
i guess i'm just really excited, it's been a while since i've genuinely looked forward to something so much.
ever since childhood, i've fantasized about going to the beach with friends and just having fun. riding roller coasters, playing those rigged carnival games and getting a big ass teddy bear, eating funnel cake...i realize that this isn't the grandest of aspirations, but i'm just ecstatic. hey, what can i say? it's easy to be impressed when you don't have any big goals or plans for yourself.
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the metro ride over to taylor's is cramped and almost grossly sticky in the summer humidity, but it's pleasantly silent, as everyone is on their phones avoiding each other. that is, until some boomer comes up to me and compliments my shirt, saying some nonsense about how he wore something like that 'in his youth'. i mean, i did buy it in a thrift store so it might as well be his from the 1850s. it's this black hawaiian shirt with red flowers on it, though it's almost faded to grey. i wasn't really sure about wearing it, it's a little ~fruity~ and funky for me, and now i'm not sure if i'm glad or i regret it now. in response, i just politely smile and say 'that's nice' and continue staring at the floor, pretending i'm actually listening to something in my earbuds. strangers really scare me- talking to them, i mean. they're usually nice but almost too nice, some people just say things that you'd silently mutter in your thoughts then move on with your day. i don't know, maybe i'm just way too anxious, but interactions like that take a lot out of me somehow. a long ding buzzes over the intercom and the subway slows to a stop, it's my cue to get the fuck out. i definitely won't fall asleep and have to hit the emergency button this time.
i stroll up to the townhouse door exactly 15 minutes on the dot, and taylor's already opened the door, predicting my arrival. about to gloat about getting there early, i'm stopped short after scanning the room. jensen is already there, sitting on the white plush sofa with taylor opposite him. how the hell did he get here so fast?
"wow, finally"
taylor groans
i'm just standing in the doorway like 🧍♀️
"the fuck are you talking about, it's only been fifteen minutes since we even arranged this trip"
he yawns
"yeah, but jensen's already been here for ten minutes, we've been waiting for you"
jensen gives him a disappointed look
"you're always so impatient."
he turned to smile at me
"i was already in the neighborhood so i just walked over"
right... that makes sense. a totally mundane and plausible explanation. but, for some reason i feel betrayed? what, betrayed by a convenient coincidence? it's so dumb but it feels like he's choosing taylor's company over mine. like, i know i wasn't even there, but since when were they so close? i guess i missed out on a lot in these three years...
taylor lightly pushes me out of the way so everyone can exit. i must've looked real fucking zoned out, because jensen hangs back and asks me if everything's alright. i just say yeah because what would i even say, i was getting jealous about how you're closer to my best friend than you are to me, Some Guy you hung out with twice in freshman year?
i walk in silence in the short stroll over to the metro stop, trapped in my echoing thoughts. lmao, loser.
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i guess i have a tendency for falling asleep at this particular station, because my eyelids droop down over my eyes and i drift off into sleep's sweet embrace.
