'My mind is still having trouble wrapping itself around the fact that you're gone.'
"Come home with me, Liza." My brother pesters me again, as I reluctantly eat an apple.
"This is my home, Nat." I reply, looking at him sternly. Max is my home, and this house is the closest I have to him. I wouldn't leave this place, no matter what. I don't want to go with him. If I do, everyone will pity me.
"Mum and dad are worried about you, and so am I. You can't expect me to leave you alone, after you fell unconscious on the bathroom floor." He is worried about me, yes. I can understand that he wants to introduce me to a new environment. But, I don't want to leave my house. Being here makes me feel like he's still here with me. Maybe, he is here. I wasn't one to believe in life after death. But now, I would believe in anything that agrees my husband is still around me. I know I'm going insane, but I have no problem with it. If being insane makes me feel like he's with me, then so be it.
"I said I'm not coming anywhere." I reply, trying to be as polite as possible. He doesn't understand, he isn't the one who is a widower. He doesn't know how it feels to be so empty inside, and I honestly don't want him to. I don't want anyone to go through this pain I'm experiencing. It hurts so bad, I don't even wish this upon my foes.
"He is dead, you should understand that and go on with life. People die all the time, just deal with it." He says harshly, making me red with anger.
"Get out! You have no right to talk like that. How would you feel if your wife died? How would you feel if I ask you to move on, in just two weeks after her death?" I yell, angrily. He stands speechless in front of me. Either he doesn't know what the hell to say, or he regrets saying what he did. I really don't care what his feelings are, now. Why should I be considerate of his feelings when he doesn't give a damn about mine?
"Don't get so touchy, Liza. He wasn't even that good. He even hit you twice, remember?" He looks at me like I'm a joke, like the life Max and I lived is a joke.
"Are you seriously trying to hold up those mistakes against my grief? You don't know about him the way I do. He hit me, yes. I'm not trying to justify his mistake, I know that hitting me was wrong. I didn't talk to him for a whole day after that. Only I know the pain he went through after hitting me. He cried so much, went down on his knees for forgiveness. He killed himself for hitting me, you heartless pig!" I say, angrily. Nobody can say anything wrong about the way my husband treated me. We had our own misunderstandings, and fights. But, he is- was the best.
"But, he left you, Liza. He wouldn't have left if he really loved you as much as you claim he did. He was so selfish he killed himself." He steps forward, trying to make me agree to his words.
I immediately grab him by the collar of his hideous green tee shirt and drag him to the front door. Opening the door, I push him out of my apartment. I glare at him before shutting the door on his face. Just because he's my brother, I can't tolerate him throwing false accusations at Max. He was true to our life, our love, and me. I won't let anyone insult him.
I walk back to our room, and look for the last letter he wrote to me. I may have read it at least fifty times since he was buried in the soil, but I want to read it again. I want something special we shared to be with me.
Searching for the letter, I spot a ziplock bag the police gave after his autopsy, that contains all his belongings. I lift it from the dressing table with my shivering hands, scared to see the last items of clothing he wore that are covered with his blood. Opening the zip, I dump the contents on the mattress. It's a pile of his bloodied blue shirt, and black pants, his watch, mobile phone, and wallet. Out of all the things, a small shining piece of metal catches my attention. I take it from the pile and run a finger over it. Memories from the day we got married comes flooding into my mind as I observe his ring.
The day he proposed to marry me was one of the best days in my lifetime. It was four years ago when we were twenty four...
A/N:
Hey! How was this short chapter? Please don't forget to leave your votes, and comments. Feel free to message me to my inbox or message board. I'll update tomorrow if things go as I plan.
Have a great day :)
-Y
