Too much, but not enough.

10

Opening

Walang emosyon ang mata ni Papa habang tinatanong niya ito, pero sa paraan niya ng pagtatanong ay natatakot na ako.

"Uh--h, manliligaw po, mayroon," I bit my lip after I said that.

I'm sorry, Craeolle. But at least they know that I have someone.

"Manliligaw?" Halos manlaki ang mata ni Papa. I just nod to his question. I unconsciously pinching my hands to prevent it from shaking. I'm not into confrontation with my Parents.

We stayed silent for a minute. Tumingin lang ako sa paa ko na halos magkapantay ngayon at hindi makagalaw.

"Bakit hindi siya pumunta rito?" 

Unti unti akong naglakas ng loob na tumingin kay Papa, agad kong nakita ang nakataas niyang kilay sa'kin. Lalo akong kinabahan.

"Uh..." I sound uneasy "Manliligaw pa lang naman, Pa." I breathed a lot of air.

"Kahit na!" He almost exclaimed.

Kumunot naman agad ang noo ko.

"Umakyat ka na," Malamig pa rin na untas niya.

Dahan dahan akong nag lakad pa akyat sa kwarto. I sniff as a small tears pass by. I don't want to cry, but the anger in Papa's eyes is scary.

I inhale and exhale lot of time to prevent myself from crying.

I texted Craeolle that I got home. Gladly, he called after a while.

[Hi, mahal!] He excitedly said on the other line.

"Hi, how are you?" I tried to cheer up my mood.

[Okay lang, ikaw mahal? Bakit ganyan boses mo?]

I stilled, tried to prevent shaking my voice.

"Medyo masama lang pakiramdam ko," I chuckled slightly.

Tumahimik rin siya sa kabilang linya. Narinig ko ang pag hinga niya ng malalim.

[Kain tayo bukas, Mal?] he asked hoping that I would say yes.

"Sige po, after class," Matipid kong sagot.

Humaba ang pag uusap namin dahil sa mga nangyari sa kanya ngayong araw, minsan pag nauubusan siya ng kwento, tinatanong niya ako ng mga paborito ko. A lot of talks and good converse we've made.

[Ako'y alipin mo, kahit hindi batid...] he sang even if his voice is not good but his music makes me calm.

[Aaminin ko, minsan ako'y manhid. Sana ay iyong naririnig, sayong yakap ako'y nasasabik...]

"You have good taste of music," I softly said when he finished singing.

He chuckled sexily, [Yung boses ko hindi?] tanong niya.

"Uhm, konting practice pa, hehe." I shyly said, he chuckled sexily.

[I love you] he whispered.

Lumakas nanaman ang kabog ng dibdib ko! Bakit ba kasi lagi na lang siyang nang bibigla?!

"I l-love... you," Utal kong sabi at pinatay rin agad ang tawag.

I want to shout. That was the first time, I said I love you romantically to someone. Wala ring tigil ang kabog ng dibdib ko! Nag iinit ang pisngi ko. My body automatically shake while I was laying on my bed, like a worm when salt came on.

I felt my cellphone vibrated after a few, when I checked it, I saw Craeolle's text.

Crae: Gusto kong marinig ng personal 'yan, Tathriana. Mahal kita. :)