In Dreams We Drown

47- Into The Maze

Beth

It had been Clint's suggestion that I wait for Minho at the North Door. My constant pacing around the Medhut, my feet drumming the rhythm of anxiety I felt for Minho's whereabouts, had finally driven Clint to breaking point.

"Shuck, Beth, I can't concentrate with you marching around like that!" Clint had cried. I didn't stop pacing. "If you can't be useful, why don't you just go and wait for him." The words stung, especially as I was the shucking Keeper. But Clint was right. I wasn't helping anybody.

"Wait for who?" I asked innocently, surprised by Clint's perceptiveness.

"You know who. Minho! I know how much you love him- No, don't bother denying it!" I'd been opening my mouth to argue, but promptly shut it. "Just go and wait for him to come back. That way, if he's injured, you'll be there to make sure he's okay."

So here I was, dwarfed against the huge Maze doors that would close in fifteen minutes. And still no sign of Minho or Alby...

"They'll be fine." Newt said next to me and took my hand in his. "They'll make it, you'll see."

Newt and Thomas had joined me half an hour ago, having also noticed Alby and Minho's absences in the Glade. Since then, a small crowd had slowly gathered, including the other Runners who had all returned unharmed. Even Gally had come to see what was going on. Nobody said it, but we were all counting down the minutes until we'd know our friends were dead.

"Minho's never been this late." I muttered.

"What happens if they don't make it?" Thomas asked from beside Newt. Newt shot him a look.

"They're gonna make it."

"Yeah, but if-"

"They'll bloody make it, Greenie!" Newt snapped. I squeezed his hand tighter.

"How long until the doors close?" Gally asked.

"Ten minutes tops..." Frypan murmured.

This was it. Minho was going to die. Alby was going to die. I just knew, in my heart, that something had happened and the pair weren't going to make it back. I thought back to the last conversation I'd had with Minho and cursed my terrible timing. I'd let him down, and now he was going to die before I'd had the chance to tell him that I did love him. Maybe not in the way he wanted, and maybe not enough, but I loved him.

"Can't we send a group in to look for them?" Thomas asked, clearly agitated.

"It's against the rules. We can't risk losing anyone else." Newt stated.

When Alby had explained that rule, many sunrises ago, it had seemed entirely logical to me. To risk a group of Gladers for the life of one person didn't make any sense. But now that the one person was Minho, I would quite happily have forced every boy into the Maze to search for him. But I couldn't do that. I couldn't even run in and search for Minho and Alby myself, because I wasn't allowed in the Maze. The rules felt more oppressive every second.

"What does happen if they don't make it back?" Chuck mumbled. He'd been so unusually quiet I'd forgotten he was there. But he stood behind Thomas, staring around his back to get a glimpse of the Maze.

"The Grievers get them." Gally told him. The Gladers shuddered at the thought.

I felt Newt's hand pulling mine closer to him, and I let him tug my body to his side. For the first time since Clint had sent me to stand by the doors, I looked away from the Maze entrance and into Newt's eyes. The eyes that I loved. The boy I was in love with. I wondered what would be happening right now if Newt was the one still in the Maze, rather than Minho. With a rush of guilt I realised I knew the answer already. If Newt was in that Maze, I'd be there too. Nobody could have stopped me going in after him. Breaking the rules would be inconsequential in comparison to the idea of losing Newt. Because I loved him.