Lo$ver | benny rodriguez

𝗏𝗂𝗈𝗅𝖾𝗍

TRIGGER WARNING: SH- Self Harm, Eating Disorder, Anxiety, Threatening, Mental Abuse, Mentions Of Suicide.

BENNY POV
It's been 2 month. Since I spoke to Elena. It's not going very well. I started doing Self harm in any way I possibly could without killing my self. I felt dumb for what I was doing and I couldn't express my feelings at all, mostly because I had no idea what i felt . I only spoke to my therapist and I think even he wanted to quit. All this over Violet.

My therapist and my doctor both diagnosed me with depression and anxiety.  I wasn't happy about that. I need to talk to her. But Violet is following me everywhere I go, I'm so tired of her.

I was on the couch watching a movie with violet. My arm was around her. She would've been hugging me and playing with my hair, or doing some dumb shit.

Violet never played with my hair because she didn't want to get her press ons yanked off. And she never rubbed my back because she's says that's stupid. She wasn't good at playing with my hair, she always pulled and not in the attractive way Elena would.

All she did was kiss me in videos and pictures. And to top it all of she doesn't like when I play baseball?! But I still do that. I talk to the sandlot guys every single day but every time I do I manage to bring up Elena and cry. She only goes to the sandlot when i leave and plays alone or tunes me out when i'm there.

She was and still is my best friend since little.  Violet forced me to take my necklace I gave off. It was a matching necklace. Violet was gonna black mail me if I didn't do what she told me. She had a picture of me in my underwear that she took from my window but I didn't really care if anyone saw that, although I knew that if I did every girl in school wouldn't leave me alone. She also threatened me, and my family.

Violet says something to me taking me out of my thoughts. "Benny bear why don't you ever call me princessa." When she said it I didn't like it. She said it weirdly, like, prin-kaess- ay. She didn't speak Spanish so she didn't know how to say it even if it was just princess with an a at the end.

I didn't answer her question. I didn't wanna call her that. I only had 3 girls who I will ever call princess and that was Elena, Flora, and my mom, no one will EVER change that except for my daughter in the future if I have one.

Flora was sitting on my lap watching tv with us and chewing on an iron man toy that was her height. It was mine but whatever I guess. Flora didn't like violet but I don't know why. I lied... I know exactly why

I guess Flora was trying to get on her good side because she went to violet and gave her the doll to play with."Ew get that tiny monster away from me benny.  I hate children"

Flora looked at her with an eye brow raised while standing next to the couch holding on to the arm of the couch. Flora places one hand on her hip than says " Childsren not like you" and sticks her tongue at her then she flips her hair and crawls to a corner in the living room next to the couch that had all the other marvel dolls.

My family has an obsession with marvel, I guess they picked it up from Elena since she forced all of us to go with her to the movie theater. I mean ALL of us. Even my grandma Pepita .

I burst out laughing and violet looks offended than says "I'm going to the lady's room, control your sister" then she gags and rolls her eyes while walking away. I laugh even harder then pick up Flora and she smiles.

"You spent to much time with Elena" and I smile. Flora scratches her eye and yawns then points to the stairs and yawns covering her mouth

"You wanna go sleep?" I ask. She nods her head then lays her head on my shoulder and hugs my neck. I smile and grabbed the peter parker doll then carry her upstairs to her room which was next to mine and lay her in her crib.

"Pider" she says, and she does a grabby motion with her hands, I give her iron man instead since she had spidey already next to her and she falls asleep after a few belly taps. I kiss her cheek then remove her hair from her face.

as I was about to leave I hear something in my room, I smell smoke, I walk in to see what was happening and I see violet burning a picture of me and Elena when we were little

"VIOLET!" I yelled at her and took the photo from her hand and stepped on it so the fire can go out

"Why would you do that violet!" I yelled at her almost crying. "I'm sorry baby" she said, she pouted her lip out so much i'm convinced it was gonna fall off. "Get out of my house" I said.

"WHAT?!" She yelled. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" I pointed to the door, tears fell down my face.

She rolled her eyes and said "I HATE YOU! IM CHEATING ON YOU WITH PHILIPS. I NEVER LIKE YOU ANYWAYS!"

She runs out and slams the door to my room.

I cry but not to hard, violet isn't worth crying for.

But Elena is