"Good luck. Believe yourself and you will ace it." I remembered his words from back in the car as he dropped me to college. Last one and a half week had been very much tough for me. I could hardly get any sleep and I was mostly on video call with Sidharth and Navya with me as we tried to study. It was the first time that I was lacking in so many topics. Then sometimes Manik would help me.
We would have our breakfast and dinner together, talking about my progress and his upcoming album. Sidharth looked happy to see me struggling for my happiness. One thing I realized living with Manik was that he was super workaholic.
I had been better in these days. There weren't any nightmares or a want to hurt myself. I had been at peace. I was accepting Manik or rather he had entered my life before I knew it. I was talking to maasi once in a week out of formality as I had been thinking positive a lot lately.
"Someone seems happy." Navya commented coming from opposite direction. I smiled widely hugging her.
"It is a good day." I replied. She had started teasing me a lot lately and Sid adores it a lot. We moved to the exmination hall with our arms entangled and discussing some last minute points. My heart beat fastly against my chest and my hands were shivering. It felt like I was taking exam for the first time although it was the last. I prayed silently asking my parents too to pray for me. Now I smile whenever I think of them. I found my lost smile. I don't know what is the reason but I know that I will soon realize it.
We took our seats as assigned according to our roll numbers and in no time the exam started.
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I climbed down the stairs happily after bidding a bye to Navya. She was going with uncle and I did not want to face him. I moved to the parking to see driver waiting with the car. I suddenly went gloomy as I realized that Manik did not come. Wasn't he supposed to pick me up ?
He is an enterpreneur, he must have got some work. I tried to reason but the energy I had while walking out of examination hall was long gone. I felt angry at myself for being so much used to of him. What if he did not come ? Nothing is wrong with it. But the stupid heart of mine wasn't ready to agree. The whole ride seemed double as I thought of every possible excuse and yet could not calm my raging nerves.
I moved directly into my room and the plans I had of being happy about the end of my exams flew out of window and I didn't know why was I even angry.
He could have come to pick me up, we could go for some lunch or even a coffee. We never went out after our so called angagement. My mind was clouded with so many complaints and I realized how cranky I was because he never asked me out.
I changed into something comfortble almost throwing everything and banging every door. My phone beeped with a message and I picked it up immediately.
"I hope your exam went well. See you in the evening." His message said and all of my hopes to see something different from him drowned. But what was I actually expecting ? Without having lunch I lied on the bed too sensitive to everything and anything. I thought to sleep for a while. My mind was clouded with unnecessary insecurities and I knew that they will not leave me so soon. I had always recieved full attention from my parents as I was their only child so I am used to of being the centre of everyone's life but maybe I shall lower my expectations.
Manik's caring nature towards me in these few days made me feel things that I never felt before. I am becoming the same Nandini Murthy that I was when I had mama papa with me. In no time I slept while thinking about whether to cry out loud or just let it go. But letting it go meant not expecting anything more which ultimately meant that this relation was nothing but a compromise. And I wanted it to not be one ???
