"I am sorry Murthy." Sidharth said for the upteenth time. It has been a week and to say that I was in a better condition would be a complete lie. But I had put on this facade to not stress my best friend anymore. After he migrated to Mumbai branch of Space it is impossible to reschedule his exams in Shimla. I was fine with him going back. I wanted him to be there with me but I could never risk his future. He was very much angry for not having enough power even after being owner's brother.
"It's okay Sid. It's a matter of some time." I said but then I realized what I just said. Hell no, I am not living in this house. I will leave here.
"Murthy I wanna tell you something." He became serious throwing up his shirt on the bed which he was folding to pack in his suitcase.
I became alert as he approached me.
"My brother might have seemed to be the most cold and arrogant person but trust me that he wants to protect you. I know you both don't have a good history but that doesn't make him a bad person." He was very much reluctant while telling me this. If I would not have planned an escape then I might be begging him to take me with him or to stay back just to not spend a minute with his jerk brother.
"Sid you don't have to worry for me." I said smiling at him. I have been doing it a lot lately and whenever I did The Manik Malhotra looked at me suspiciously.
"Sir, the car is ready." One of the butlers informed standing in the doorway hauling our converstion.
"Free your mind from my worry and focus on your exams." I told him.
"You too, Babydoll. And call me whenever you want." He said but he looked extremely upset."I don't want to leave you." He said looking away.
"It's your punishment for thinking to end our friendship." I tried to cheer him up. He chuckled and then feeling sudden burst of emotions I hugged him tight. May be I won't be seeing him again.
"Take care." He said and after much persuation he left. I saw him off at the door as his brother took him to air port. I ran back to my room or the room I was staying in and entered the bathroom. All the emotions overwhelmed me and I looked at my red eyes in the mirror. The need to feel fine overpowered me once again and I did what I had been doing since a week to make myself look happy. I took out the blade placed in the container that had tooth brush and paste. I folded my sleeves above my elbow and looked at the designs I have imprinted on me. Those gave me satisfaction for the whole week and helped me look fine with the fuss going on.
The piecring sensation that I felt while sliting my own flesh like a fabric was very much satisfying. Everytime I felt immense pain accompanied by pleasure. I had the end of my stole in my mouth as I clenched my teeth across it from breaking into painful shouts. After getting done with the cuts I looked at myself in the mirror to see my red eyes even darker and my dark circles making me look like a ghost. I looked at the final ingredient placed in the shelf. I took the perfume bottle with the other hand and opened it with the one that was injured just now with difficulty as it was numb. I took a deep breath before pouring it over the cut.
I clatter my teeth extremely tightly as my arm burned. It felt worse for a second before it turned better. I gave myself a smile and then cleared everything. I rolled down my sleeves. I was getting used to it day by day. I gave a look at my other arm which also had a number of cuts. Fter feeling satisfied with my 'no cuts on display' look I moved out and sat on the bed.
I kept my phone in my jeans pocket and grabbed a bag wearing it over my shoulder. I had kept two to three pairs of clothes that Maasi handed to Manik for me. I did not want to take them but I couldn't stay in the same clothes. There were all the essentials arranged for me in this house but using them was extremely difficult for me. I was informed by bank that there were some savings left by my parents enough to help me graduate and move to some other place. Sidharth had been a major help the entire week but I will have to leave him. I was acting selfish and he would be hurt but I cared about the life that I might have to spend with his arrogant brother. Moreover he had a girlfriend. Why was he even ready for it ? He thought that I won't say anything because I was alone in this entire fucking huge world ? He was wrong. I would never let him demean me. He was never asked to do a favour to me that too by sliding this ring in my finger.
