Deliverance (Fem x Stem)

15

Lilliana Morst

I woke up to an empty bed and a text from Teyanne saying that she needed her space, my hotel room would be paid for over a few days, and that she wanted to try out the dating pool a bit more now that she was free from her family's grasps.

I cried that first day, sho did. It's not like I hadn't given other people the same thing I gave Tey, but I had put a different type of trust into her that I had never attempted before. In the past, my relationships or crushes hadn't been serious, or at least felt that way. I had been ready to give my all to Tey, and I sort of expected that back and more.

I guess you can blame my clinginess on the sex and my daddy issues, but really it's my fault that I pushed Teyanne away. Not everyone hops into relationships full-on and is automatically committed. Some relationships go through a cheating stage, others start off awkward- most don't last. Not everyone is searching for love or the right things. Not that love can always feel like the right thing, because I sure would love to be at Christiano CC right now but also have the Teyanne Sully.

The only thing I can say that I regretted was giving her my all. Giving her my all when I hadn't even known her for a month. I was so used to people paying no mind to an average black girl with a little booty that I had been too much for her too handle.

Too much for her to handle in a bad way.

I want Tey back, I really do. But I got some growing up to do before I commit to anything. I can't jump at a relationship just because someone sets their eyes on me. I need to set my standards higher.

Two Months Later

"Lilliana, can you pull a double shift for me?" my boss asked, coming up to my desk with a stressed out face. I offered her a quick smile, then shuffled through my stack of papers. I had truly finished my work yesterday, so I had a free schedule and quite frankly I was bored.

"I have the Edinburgh stack here," I handed her over the copies of a book she asked me to edit. I was an editor in Houston now, making an average check as an editor. I had decided to dabble in writing since it was something I had always enjoyed doing and reading. "I can always count on you, Lilliana. Watch out for a promotion," she pointed at me with a grin.

She took the stack of my completed papers and headed off to her office as I shuffled through my three new stacks. I inhaled in the scent of hot paper and lukewarm coffee on my desk and got to work.

Two hours after I had digested my editing work, I decided I need to stop for a break and that meant food. All I had left was one more assignment to edit, then I'd reread everything else. I waved to my boss as I passed by her office, then headed out the doors of our building.

I was thinking about eating at the nearby Starbucks or McDonald's since I had a few dollars to spare today when I saw a familiar figure. I squinted, hoping it wasn't Teyanne the way my heart sped up at the thought of familiarity.

The person turned and it was none other than my cousin Dahnaée. A tiny part of her was disappointed that it hadn't been Teyanne that she finally spotted in Houston, but it was crushed as I started towards my relative.

"Dahnaèe!" I called out happily.