Among us logic incorrect quotes

7

Some of these might be inaccurate lol-

Mother: Ooh, somebody has a crush
Veteran: Pfft, I don't have a crush on Player I just think he's cool, it's not like I stay up at night thinking about him.
*Later that night*
Veteran, very much awake: Uh oh.

Player: Love makes people do stupid things.
Captain: I love everything!
Player: That explains a lot.

Mr Cheese: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Player: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Veteran: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Captain: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
The Gentleman: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF-

Player: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??
Stoner: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

The Gentleman: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
The Gentleman: This unmitigated poppycock!
Mr Egg: Extravagant hogwash!
Mr Cheese: Okay, stop.

Veteran: So anyways have y'all seen Mr Cheese?
The Gentleman: I think he went into Mr Egg's room 'studying'.
Player: Doubt that. I heard groans there.
*Meanwhile in Mr Egg's room*
Mr Cheese & Mr Egg, fighting:

Veteran: Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.."

Mr Egg: How much did you spend on this date?
Mr Cheese: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years.

Player: I'm naturally funny because my life is a joke.

The Gentleman: Watcha got there..?
Mr Cheese: *petting a ostrich* A smoothie.

The Gentleman: I know we're not exactly friends, but-
Mr Egg: What do you want?
The Gentleman: I've been stuck with Mr Cheese for 2 weeks and he's been drinking all the soy sauce.
The Gentleman: Help.

Gnome: Talk dirty to me, babe~
Engineer: The dishes.
Gnome: Wh-
Engineer: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Mr Egg: Mr Cheese-
Mr Cheese: *sighs* The Gentleman used to call me Mr Cheese...
Mr Egg: ...Because it's your fucking name!

The Gentleman: I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Mr Cheese: We could attack them with hummus.
The Gentleman: I stand corrected.

The Gentleman: Is there anyone here who's actually straight?
Player: *raises hand*
Veteran: *puts Player's hand down*

The Gentleman: Do we have any orange juice left?
Mr Cheese: *pours the remaining juice into his cup*
Mr Cheese: Sorry, we're all out.

Mr Cheese: Ugh, there's always that weak bitch in the group who isn't down with murder.
Mr Cheese: *glares at The Gentleman*
The Gentleman: Well, sorry I have morals!

Veteran: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

Mr Cheese: Hey, The Gentleman. Why did the chicken cross the road?
The Gentleman: To get to the other side?
Mr Cheese: You were supposed to say "I dunno, why?"
The Gentleman: Uh... fine. I don't know. Why did it cross the road?
Mr Cheese: To get to the idiot's house.
The Gentleman: ...Ok?
Mr Egg: Hey, The Gentleman. Knock knock.
The Gentleman: No.
Mr Egg: You were supposed to say "who's there?"
The Gentleman: Fine... let's get this over with. Who's there?
Mr Egg: The chicken.
The Gentleman:
Mr Cheese:
Mr Egg:
The Gentleman: Listen here you little shits-

Ninja: That's not funny. (In Japanese)
Bro: I thought it was funny.
Ninja: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook. (In Japanese)

Engineer: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.
Gnome, blushing: Okay.
Stoner: It's fucking summer.

Player: What does "take out" mean?
Veteran: Food.
Mother: Dating.
Ninja: Murder.
Mr Cheese: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

Mr Cheese: And now for a gay update with Player and Veteran.
Veteran: Getting gayer.
Mr Cheese: Thank you, Veteran.

*Everyone is giving advice to Player*
Captain: It's okay to ask for help.
Mother: You're not a burden.
Mr Cheese: Murder is okay.
Veteran: Your feelings matter.

Mr Egg: You were charged with breaking into a pet store...?
Mr Cheese: I thought the animals might be lonely.

*Mr Cheese and Mr Egg looking at a locked gate into a park*
Mr Egg: Aw.. :(
Mr Cheese: You know what they say.
Mr Egg: Please don't-
Mr Cheese: BE GAY DO CRIME! *hops gate*
Mr Egg: Frick-