i didnt mean to love you...

.10.

Harry's P.O.V

i sat and held louis for a good 2 hours. i just let him cry. he needed to get his emotions and i dont blame him at all for just sitting and crying. i would do the same if gems died. and i know the boys would as well if one of their siblings died. i decided to speak up after being quiet this whole time apart from humming to him softly.

'lou...' i said so quietly it was almost inaudible but he was so close that he heard it. 'hmm' was his reply. just as quiet. 'do u wanna watch me paint for a bit to relax or nap?' i asked almost as quiet as before. 'pa-paint' he replied louder this time. 'ok lets go then.' i said before picking him up bridal style to my art room. i have a bean bag in there in case i ever want to paint lower down.

i was going to put louis on my chair and sit on the bean bag but he wanted to sit with me. 'ok lou im going to go grab a chair for me to sit on, do you wanna stay here...' 'stay' 'ok love ill be back.' i responded in a whisper before kissing his forehead and walking out of the room to grab a chair from the dining room.

as soon as i got downstairs the boys turned to me. liam was the first one to speak. 'how is he' was what he asked. and i wasnt going to lie so i answered the truth. 'not good. we have been sat in the same spot on the bathroom floor for the past two hours. he agreed to sit in my studio with me and watch me paint.' liam nodded at my response before telling me to go back up and not keep him waiting. so i did, not before grabbing a chair though.

when i got back to my studio louis was still sat in the same place, curled up into a ball and staring out the window. i cleared my throat quietly to let him know im here. he turned slowly to see me getting the stuff i need out of my drawers and cupboards. 'what are you going to paint' he asks softly, getting louder each time he speaks. 'thats what you're going to tell me' i replied smiling towards him.

he lightly smiled back before putting his feet on the floor and tucking himself under my table. 'c-can you paint me and you?' 'of course, it wont be perfect but i can try.' i responded. 'thank you. a-and im sorry for cry-' 'no louis dont be sorry for crying. u have every reason to be emotional. if this happened to me i would react the same. you need to have some emotion.' i cut in. 'but-' 'no means no' i said sternly yet still calm as i went back to mixing colours on my pallet.

i pulled my phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 'put some music on love. you can either play one of my playlists or put your favourite song on. i dont mind.' i say calmly with a small smile playing on my lips. he nods before turning my phone on, blushing and smile at my background. its a picture of me and him from around when we first met.

Louis' P.O.V

harry handed me his phone and i looked at him confused. 'put some music on love. you can either play one of my playlists or put your favourite song on. i dont mind.' he says with a small smile. i nod and turn on his phone, blushing and smiling at the image of me and him as his background.

i open spotify and play The Story by Sara Ramirez. harry smiles and hums to the music. i look through all his playlists when i stumble across one called 'songs about him <3'. 'you got a crush' i say smirking showing him his phone screen. he blushes and smiles widely before going back to mixing paint.

i look through the playlist and all the songs are either love songs, sad songs, or both. he has songs by Kodaline and Snow Patrol and i mutter out a quick, 'good taste'. he chuckles lightly. i play the playlist and Off I Go by Greg Laswell starts playing. i turned the volume up to full and his smile drops then widens as he starts singing along. somehow encouraging me to do so as well.

he picked up his pencil and began sketching out a plan. i curled my legs up to my chest and yawned. harry turned to look at me a smiled in awe before standing up and going to the back of the room, coming back seconds later with a fluffy blanket in his hands. he laid it over my body and made sure it was ok, to which i nodded. 'thank you. for everything. i dont think id be this calm right now if it wasnt for you.' i said just louder than a whisper.

he looked into my eyes and nodded. 'i will always be here for you louis. even if its in 30 years and we dont talk to each other. if anything happens, i would fly half way across the world to make sure you're ok.' he said with a smile and tears in his eyes. i grabbed both sides of his face in my hands 'dont cry' i said softly yet again. 'im not sad, im proud of you boo. you're so strong' he says with a single tear running down his cheek that i wiped away with the pad of my thumb.

my eyes well up with tears. i burst out laughing and i dont know why but harry started laughing with me. i heard shuffling before liam walked in to me and harry in hysterics. he looked at us weirdly before walking back downstairs, causing me and harry to laugh harder. out laughing died down and eventually we were in silence again. 'i miss her already. i was a shitty brother. i-i should of b-been there for her. th-this is a-all my-my fault' i stutter out caving in on myself and pulling at my hair.

harry shook his head and pulled me into his lap. i cuddled into his chest while he drew patterns on my back with his index finger and stroking my hair. i couldnt stop crying and my breathing was all over the place. harry rocked us back and forth, 'try and calm down love, in through the nose out through the mouth c'mon' he said before breathing and trying to get me to do so with him.

it sort of worked but my breathing was still erratic . i used to get them a lot but recently its not been so much. after 10 minutes of trying to calm me down i was sat with a burning face and no energy. i yawned again and harry lifted me in his arms and carried me towards his room. once i was laid down he kissed my head, 'sleep love you need it.' he was about to walk out but i grabbed his hand, 's-stay. please' i muttered. he nodded and laid down next to me holding me in a tight embrace. normally i was the big spoon but its nice to change sometimes.

sleep eventually took over with me in harrys arms listening to the beating of his heart.