i didnt mean to love you...

.16.

'niall for fucks sake open the fucking door.' i say loud enough for him to hear me. he opens the door and takes in my appearance before letting me in. 'whats up broski' he says in a funny accent. 'louis.'

'whats happened' he says, smile draining from his face. i look at him for a minute before tears gather in my eyes. my breathing slowly but surely becomes shallow and my heart feels like its going 50 miles an hour. the tears fall. now my breathing is getting erratical. niall catches on and guides me to sit down.

im now full blown sobbing. i bring my legs to my chest and place my head on my knees. my hands lay on the back of my head tugging sharply on the hairs. my breathing quickens and my sobs become more aggressive. 'harry come on. listen to my voice try to calm down yeah.' niall says. it sounds like im underwater. im drowning.

niall has a comforting hand on my back for a minute. then its gone. the door opens and he leave. that just makes everything worse. he left me. ive annoyed him. im doing that a lot today. annoying people.

not even 30 seconds later niall is back, at least i think its niall. there's only one person.

i feel a the person grab my hand and pull them away from my hair. i know his hands anywhere. why did niall have to get him. louis plays with my hair in a sort of comfort. my breathing is soon back to normal. no more chaotic sobs, just silent tears. i lift up my head and look at louis.

'im sorry. for dreaming something like that. and for yelling at you. i had no right.' i say so quiet i can barely hear it myself. he shakes his head. 'i should be the one apologising. its not your fault for dreaming it. and i didnt mean to freak. i just wasnt expecting you to say it is all.' he says. 'lets go to bed yeah.' i nod my head before taking his offered hand and standing up.

louis leads me out of the room and towards ours, just across the hall. he opens the door and lets me in first.

as soon as we walk in louis shuts and locks the door.

'come on love, lets at least go lay down yeah?' i just nod.

i sit down on the edge of the bed and pull my jeans off before slowly dragging myself under the covers. louis does the same, wrapping his slim arms around my waist. the heat from his body radiating onto my own.

i turned in his grip to face him. my eyes meet his almost immediately. blue meeting green for the first time in a while.

'i didnt mean it yknow.' he whispers. im not completely sure what hes talking about so i just hum.

'i do like you, i love you. i couldnt live without you. you saved my life. if you werent in my life fuck knows how id cope with everything. if you werent in my life i wouldnt know myself as well as i do. i love you so fucking much and im so fucking grateful for this. no matter how fucked up our lives get i still have you there to cry to or to rant to or even just sit in silence with. because harry wherever you are. i am. and if youre smiling. fuck. im gonna smile with you. you ooze positivity. yes the boys are great but the boys arent you. i love you so much harry im sorry i love you.'

by the end of his speech tears are slipping down my face at a rate i wont admit. i lean in the tiny distance between us and pull him into a rib breaking hug.

'i love you.' i say. i know how far i mean it. but it hurts that he doesnt know. i dont think he will know. 'god i love you so much louis.' i whisper. i know im right next to his ear but a small part of me really hopes that he didnt hear me.

he pulls away from the hug and looks at me carefully. 'harry,' he starts, 'i- um. no never mind. lets just go to sleep yeah?' hes hesitant. im not sure for what. but to say its worrying is an understatement.

'no, you can tell me.'

'i dont want you to hate me...'

'louis i could never. i love you yeah.' god i may as well just scream it in his face how much i love him.

his cheeks redden slightly. im probably going too far.

'harry- fuck just say it. harry. i know ive already given you this huge cheesey lovey dovey speech about how i love you. but i do harry. i love you so much it pains me. its not just a friendly love harry. im in love with you. and i dont know whats going on anymore. 4 months ago i was straight. and now im confessing my love for you. and if you dont feel the same way yes it will hurt but fuck me at least you know now right?' he finishes sat at the end of the bed. he wont look at me.

'louis?'

'please if its gonna hurt me do not say it.'

'come here. please?'

he looks at me uncertain before crawling over and sitting in front me.

he cant keep eye contact. i move quietly so im sat on my knees.

'i love you too.' i say slowly.

'no harry not like that lik-'

i cut him off before he can finish.

'louis. listen to me. i. love. you.'

he finally looks me in the eye. his eyebrows furrow in confusion. fuck this is like my dream. i simply nod. a small smile climbing its way to my lips, basically breaking my face in two.

i cant seem to hold in my joy any longer and lunge forward, capturing his lips in a breath taking kiss.

he pulls away for a second. before kissing me again, pushing me down this time so im laid. he sits on top of me, a leg each side of my waist.

my hands roam his body and his hair in hopes to get him closer to me somehow. his hands are holding my face so gently i feel like im being caressed. ive wanted this for so long and its finally happening.

the boy i love, kissing me. it means something. we arent forced into it. i cant help but smile.

louis pulls away slowly. our faces stay close, breathing in each others air. we stay like this for a minute before he lays down on top of me.

'goodnight harry, thank you. i love you.' he mutters with a kiss on my clothed chest.

'i love you too.' i reply.

god i really need to stop smiling. my face is starting to hurt.

well, it happened. he loves me. in real life. i pinch myself to make sure im not dreaming again. im not. i could cry.

he loves me...