Learning how to fly (Niall Horan fanfic)

15 - I finally tell Niall

*Rikke's POV*

"You're great Rikke"  

"Yeah right" I laughed.

"You never believe me when I compliments you" he said with a frown.

"Well, when you don't hear any good about yourself, you learn to shut it out, and doesn't care what people says about you, no matter if it's good or bad" I said looking down at his shirt. I saw his frown grew even bigger from the corner of my eye.

"So are you gonna tell me that thing?" he asked.

"You guys are not good for me" I mumbled "Louis and Liam already know. This is so not me"

"What?" he said and sat up on the bed, looking at me "Does Louis and Liam know, but ya didn't even bothered telling me?" he looked kinda hurt, I think.

"Yes. Or I only told Louis... and then he told Liam"

"I can't believe ya told them before ya told me" he said.

He got mad at me because of that? 

"Why don't you wanna tell me?" he asked.

"It's not that I don't wanna tell you"

He interrupted me "Oh right, ye... But ya didn't"

I stared at him. I knew this was too good to be true. I just knew it. 

"This is fucking why I don't tell people things!" I couldn't control myself anymore, this was just so typical "This is exactly why I always keeps things for myself. When you tell people something, someone always ends up getting hurt!" I got up from the bed and turned my back to him. "Go Niall. I don't... Just go home" I said and closed my eyes.

Don't you dare cry now.

He stood up and I heard him walk. I thought he would leave, but instead he walked up in front of me and hugged me. "I'm sorry. And I'm not leaving"

I didn't hugged him back, I just stood there with my arms hanging down by my side. 

"I haven't told you because I was afraid that you would look differently at me or look at me with pity. I hate that. And I feel like I wanna tell you everything about myself. I've felt that since the first day. And it feels like I've known you for a long time and it scares the crap out of me. I'm not used to trusting people. I'm used to be alone. So meeting you, and the fact that I felt you were something special, it freaked me out, and it still does" I said quiet, afraid that I would begin to cry.

He hugged me even tighter "I know babe, it's unbelievable what's happened the last few days"

We were both quiet for a while. "You don't have to tell me. I just want you to be happy" he said and kissed me on the top of my head. 

And then I told him. I added some few things that I hadn't told Louis, like the fact that my mom told me that the whole thing was my fault and my dad had sometimes got so mad that he hit me too. I also told him that my ex came back to me when I was happy for a while, it was just before my brother moved back home again. But as soon as I got sad again he left me. While I told Niall, he just stroke his hand up and down my back, and sometimes he said things like "What? But it wasn't your fault" or "I'm gonna kill that pig" and "You deserve so much better baby". When I was done talking he took my head between his hands and said "I want you to know that you always can trust me, no matter what. You can tell me everything anytime you want. I'll be here until you don't want me to. This sounds so stupid, but please trust me darling, I won't let you down. I promise"

I closed my eyes for a while. This was just too much for me. A side of me screamed that I should run away from this, but on the other hand I wanted to surrender myself to him. 

"You want me to stay here tonight? I'll just sleep at the couch" he gave me a carefully smile. 

I nodded and smiled back.

"That smile wasn't even close to reaching ya eyes" he said and stroke my cheek "Go get ya pyjamas on and I'll make maself comfortable in the living room"

I went out to the little bathroom and brushed my teeth. I was really tired, so I quickly changed to some shorts and a big t-shirt. When I walked through the living room on my way to the bedroom Niall already laid on the couch. I stopped in the door and said "Goodnight Niall. And thanks for... everything" 

"Night love" he replied.

I closed the door and walked over to the window, before I closed the curtain I gazed at the city for a moment. I felt totally numb inside. And the day had been so amazing... I felt like I had told Niall too much and it wasn't even all of it. 

I wrote a quick text to El, that she should call me tomorrow instead.

I turned the light off and laid down in the bed. In spite of I was really tired I couldn't fall alseep. I needed someone desperately, and that someone was Niall. I just laid there for a couple of minutes before I walked to the door and opened it. I tiptoed closer to the couch when Niall suddenly spoke "Can't sleep either, huh?" 

"No... I was... wondering if you would sleep with me... in the bed?" I said hesitating.

"Sure hun, if ya want me to" he stood up and we walked into the bedroom. He laid down in the bed and I laid down beside him, as far away from him as I could.

"I'm glad you trusted me" he said.

"Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I didn't told you before"

"No don't be, it doesn't matter now" he kissed me on my forehead.

We were both quiet for a while. The only noises there were, was the traffic from the city. 

And then he did the cutest thing a guy have ever done for me. He began to sing almost so quiet that it was a whisper. 

"I've never had the words to say,

But now I'm askin' you to stay

For a little while inside my arms,

And as you close your eyes tonight,

I pray that you will see the light,

That's shining from the stars above."

It was Zayn's part from 'More Than This', one of their songs I actually knew. His voice was so beautiful and it sounded so fragile that it made me cry. I crawled a little closer to him and he wrapped his arms around me.

 Just before I fell asleep, I said "Please don't give up on me like everybody else did"

"I won't Rikke. I won't" he said and I fell asleep, feeling whole and warm in Niall's arms.