Loving home//Parmiga

Aftermath

A/N: This part contains abuse and sexual harassment memories. Along with mental health. If this may upset you, leave this one out. Also, side note, I am currently going back through older chapters and adding bits and pieces, so if the new chapters are slow the next few days, this is why. If you have any chapter suggestions, leave them in the comments. 

Future...

Vera was at home after filming some interviews all week. Patrick was out at an event to promote his lasted movie. You were sat up in your bedroom reflecting on the past week. Since the ordeal with your now ex-boyfriend, you have gone into yourself not wanting to talk to anyone. You showered four or five times a day because you just felt like his touch was still on your skin. You constantly had your headphones in or some music on because you couldn't listen to your own head. Vera was downstairs reading when she heard the shower turn on for the third time this morning. She signed as she thought about how much she missed being with you. She wished there was more she could do to comfort you, but she also didn't want to invade to the point where you hated her. She wished she could simply remove the memory from you; she hated seeing you so upset and isolating yourself.

Around half an hour had passed, and Vera could still hear the shower running. She started to get a little worried. Finally, she placed her book on the sofa and headed up to check on you. She gently knocked on the door, trying not to make you jump.

"Y/N are you alright?" You didn't respond. Vera stood for a moment, then knocking again as she started to panic. "Sweetie answer me please." You still didn't respond. Vera got more and more worried as she stood inches away from you on the other side of the door. She remembered a screen from Bates Motel where her son tried to drown himself in the bathtub. The shower can't fill the same, but what if there was a way. Vera began to panic and her heart rate getting faster by the second. She couldn't lose you not like this. She couldn't imagine losing her only child before she herself died. She ran downstairs and got a knife out of the drawer. She paced back upstairs and turned the lock on the door so she could get into the room. You were sat at the bottom of the shower crying and shaking. "Baby, what's wrong?" Vera came and sat by the side of the shower as you looked at her. Vera stood up, turning off the shower and handing you a towel. You didn't move as she wrapped it around you, pulling you gently out of the shower. She placed her arms around you and rocked you, kissing your soaking wet hair. "It's alright I've got you." She cradled you. You leant into her chest as you started taking really deep breathes.

"I'm sorry Mom."

"It's alright. What made you worry?"

"I was remembering him. I can't get it out of my head. I can still feel his hands on my body. I can't shake of this emptiness I am feeling."

"Aww Sweetie, I'm sorry." She kissed your hair again as she moved a piece out of your face. "Come on let's get you dried off and have a cuddle downstairs."

"No. I can still feel him, can I go back in the shower."

"Sweetie, I promise you, you'll have washed him off you physically by now. It's been over a week and you have showered multiple times in one single day. I know your scared and don't feel safe but you have got to stop with the shower. I can't take it anymore. I just wish I knew what to do. I'm your mother I am supposed to know by now how to make you feel better but your shutting me out."

"Mom I'm sorry." You began to sob into her chest again. Vera realised how she had basically just told you off for dealing with your emotions.

"Baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean to get upset. I just want you to forget him but I know that's really hard after what happened."

"I just remember being so scared. I couldn't do anything, he had pinned me back and I felt out of control of my own body. I felt disconnected from the world, disconnceted from myself. I was there but my mind wasn't there. I was away with something."

"Hey look at me." You turned your head, looking straight into your mother's eyes. "That is how your mind coped and that doesn't make it any less scary."

"I just. I didn't know what to do. I just sat there and let it happen I didn't fight anymore. I felt disgusting. I felt like...." You paused before dropping the word in case your mother didn't approve of its use. "A whore." You began to curl up into a ball.

"My baby girl, I am so sorry. But I promise you baby that boy taking advantage of you does not make you a whore. I wish you could see the beautiful strong young lady I see." Vera didn't know what to say. She felt so guilty. She hadn't protected her little girl from the world like she promised when you were little.

"When I heard the front door. I went into panic mode. I sort of realised what was happening. All I could do was hope it was you and Dad that were running up the stairs."

"What happened when you knew it was us?"

"Well I couldn't see you at the door I just remember seeing Dad pulling him off me. Then your arms around me. I finally felt safe. Then I worried it was all just a dream and that actually my mind had shut off completely and I was actually laid there while he did things."

"I will always do my best to keep you safe."

"I know Mom. I love you." Vera welled up a little, thinking she had lost you, but your love was all she wanted.

"I love you too my favourite girl. Now come on let's get you dried off. How about we go downstairs together and we watch a movie and have a nice cuddle."

"Yeah. I miss you Mommy."

"Aww, baby I miss you too. But, I promise I'll always be here for you even when you feel all alone I am right here holding you close."