The Romanov Series Book #1: My Rogue Girlfriend

Chapter Thirty: Chasing Shadows

Katya's POV
"He's messing with your mind." Alexei stated the obvious shattering the passionate silence in my mind that knows nothing but the torment Ferrer put me through. I kept my fingers on my trembling lips gently caressing them as he did when he teased the hell out of me. "That is what all this was for."

No kidding!

I can only feel... not think but feel a range of emotions from lust for the man all this is for to hate for papa for taking him away and giving me a doze only for us to be separated again. He did not do this from the kindness of his heart. The manipulative bastard did this to remind me of what I stand to lose. He's good at sitting on the fence and waiting to see how each side will fare. If I ended up fighting with Ferrer over the secret he told then he wins. If I ended up fixing his mess but still getting separated from Ferrer he still wins. No matter where the chips fall papa will always win.

What we did to each other hasn't been done since before I was pregnant with his son. It was a deep sweet reminder of what making love means yet a clear claim on me. He didn't say it with words. His mind may be warning him to stay away but his body is chained to mine in absolute devotion. I haven't felt like this in a long time.  We didn't talk, we felt... we felt everything.

"Katya!" Alexei shouted at me. I snapped out of it. We are at a small airfield. "Snap out of it! You need to focus!"

"On what?" I asked. "What is all this for? This is madness! It's insanity! What is all this for Alexei?"

I pulled my hair back like he did when he had me on all fours ploughing into me mercilessly as though it was punishment for my lies. I'm not a sub, never have been but a few hours ago, I bent as he pleased and I surrendered willingly to his merciless onslaught. I remember Ferr as a passionate lover but what he did was something entirely different from what I expected. I cast my gaze on the ground when I noticed a drop. My mind feels scattered.

Alexei used his hand to lift my head. "It's for the people you love. What he's sending you to do is unfair and dangerous. He wanted you to be this messed up when you go. You'll be one less enemy for him to worry about if you lose this fight"

"Am I going to die?"

"That depends on you Katya." I looked heavenward at the dark skies. The thunder clapped with force. Heavy rain followed but what is rain when death is inviting me for a tango? Alexei dropped a long bag at my feet. "Ammunition. Don't be wasteful. Extraction will be after he's dead. Now Katya, pay attention. I'm not coming for you. Someone else will pick you up. Your father is keeping me at arms length. He knows I'm not on his side anymore."

"I'll get it done. Just lias with Katerina and the Serbs. Get my man out of there."

"I already told Katerina... hold on." He answered his phone.

I can't feel the rain anymore. My blood is already cold with paralyzing fear. I'm terrified of what awaits me beyond the trees. I don't have any information other than coordinates. This is the literal meaning of crossing the bridge when I get there. I'll find out who he is once I get there. I set my eyes on the man looking at me. I ran my hand over my face to see him clearly. "What is it?" I addressed his disappointed expression. "Alexei, what is it?"

"He's been moved. Your father moved Ferrer."

I don't need this right now.

I picked up the heavy bag and strapped it on my back. I'm so tired and borderline hopeless but I wasn't trained to rely on emotions for fuel to soldier on. Regardless of how I feel, an assignment has to be completed. I walked away from Alexei and the plane without a word. What is there to say? We are all pawns in his wicked games.