Televised || Punk Chandler Riggs

12. Past

•Some nightmares don't end when we open our eyes•
...
Chandlers pov
"Carmin you look fine." I groaned from behind her. She leaned forward and looked into the mirror, scrunching her face.
"No I don't like it." She said.
I let out a dramatic sigh and flopped on the bed. I pull out my phone and check my phone for the tenth time.
"We're going to be late." I say.
She rolled her eyes and put on lip gloss. I stood up and grabbed her bag.
"I like it, let's go." I say, grabbing her hand and practically dragging her out of the room. We managed to find our way to math class.
We were greeted, well acknowledged, by our group that we have to sit through classes with. I sat in the seat behind Carmin, this was the only teacher who gave assigned seats.
Which sucked.
The teacher, who made us call him sir, walked in with an expensive briefcase and suit. This was a boarding school for a bunch of freaks who are mentally crazy.
Not a private, my daddy is a doctor and pays for everything, kind of deal.
This teacher hates everyone. But particularly me.
I don't even know why. I don't get terrible grades, never fucked his daughter, I don't really listen but... I'm not sure where I was going with this.
He turned on the overhead and rambled on about algebra. I got bored so I began writing a note to Carmin.
'This class is boring af -Chan'
I poked her back and she turned around halfway. I handed her the note and she began writing back.
'Yeah...I know'
I took it back and and wrote to her. Our conversation went pretty much like this.
'What do you wanna do later?' I wrote.
'Any parties?' She wrote.
'Not that I know about'
'No one likes us anyways'
I slightly laughed silently. Well...she's not wrong.
I began writing.
'We could just lay around and watch netflix?'
I handed it to her.
'Yes!!!!'
'Haha okay, my bed though.'
'Why your bed?'
'Cause my bed is cooler'
'But it's not though'
I read that and was offended. I began to write.
'Ouch Carmin. That hurt.'
'Sucks to suck.'
'You don't know how much that offended me.'
'I'd say sorry but I'm not.'
'I'm seriously upset right now.'
'Stop making me feel bad.'
'I think I'm going to cry.'
'STOP IT.'
'YOU LISTEN HERE SHANIQUA NEXT TIME YOU WANNA OFFEND MY BED YOU TAKE IT UP WITH ME YOU GOT IT?'
'No.'
'What?'
'No.'
'Buuuuttt Caaarrrrmiin.'
'No.'
'Stop.'
'No.'
I quietly laughed at her continuous no's but then I heard the teacher yell.
"Mr.Riggs!"
I looked up.
"Whet?" I said like the beautiful ratchet I am.
The others,besides Carmin, snickered and quietly giggled.
Carmin is rubbing off in me.
6 months ago I never would of thought that I was a beautiful ratchet.
"Were you and Carmin passing notes." He asks me faking calmness.
"Yes." I say simply with a shrug.
"Why would you think it's okay to write notes in my class?...Carmin?"He asked which made me sorta mad.
You have to go for Carmin?
How about you ask me?
He's probably intimidated by me.
I hate him.
Not strongly dislike.
Hate.
I looked over at Carmin, who's whole face was red.
I turned my attention to the teacher and cleared my throat which got everyone's attention off Carmin.
"You see sir, we weren't actually doing anything wrong." I say trying to convince him.
"Oh, is that so? How would this be?" He asked in that annoying sarcastic yet calm tone.
"You see I passed a note to Carmin because I was bored, and me being bored is your fault."
"My fault?"
"Yes sir, thank you for understanding." I say as if he just agreed with me and the conversation was over.
He looked slightly confused.
Perfect.
I thought he decided to let it go, since he just got outsmarted.
But once the loud bell rang for class to let out and me and Carmin were about to exit he spoke up from his tiny desk in the corner.
"Sit down you two, you have detention." He said.
He looked up to see our reactions.
Usually kids would beg him to not have detention, or start to get upset or some shit.
I looked at Carmin and shrugged.
"Yeah I guess as have nothing better to do." She said as if a friend had just invited us to hang out.
I looked over and saw the teacher nostrils flare.
Yup. Keep getting fed up with our shit.
He muttered something under his breath.
He got up.
"I'll be back in ten minutes if I find out either of you left..." He started as Carmin and I took seats next to eachother.
"Okay, okay we get it, chill out." I say slightly irritated.
"No talking!"He yelled.
He soon left the room.
"But what about Netflix?" Carmin whines.
"What was there to really watch anyway?" I say laughing.
"Ahs, gossip girl, the walking dead, Hannah Montana"
"Oh yeah..."
We sit in silence .
The teacher hadn't come back a while.
"This is boring." I say with a sigh.
"Let's play 20 questions." Carmin said.
"Um...okay. What's your favorite memory?" I ask. She smiles.
"Remember when about a month after we started dating, and you took me to that baseball game cause I'd never gone to one?" She asks.
"Yeah...I remember." I say.
"And when we got put on that kiss cam thing and I was eating a hotdog so when you kissed me you got mustard all over your mouth." She laughed.
Yeah...I do remember that. That was a good day, that's also the day I gave her the locket necklace, I made her promise not to open it until we broke up or I died...whichever came first.
"What's your biggest fear?" She asks me.
"Oblivion." I smirked quoting the movie we saw last week.
"Okay Augustus, I'm serious." She said.
Fears?
I don't know...Losing you, being alone, getting murdered, death, car wrecks, and dolls.
But what did I answer with?
"Nothing I don't have any fears."
"Yeah okay Chandler." Carmin said.
"What makes you sad to think about?" I ask.
"Before I met you." She replies cheerfully and kisses my nose.
"What makes you sad to think about?" She asks repeating my question. I blinked slowly and looked down.
"Um...the real reason I came here..." I mumbled.
"What's the real reason you came here?" Carmin asks in a slightly worried tone.
"Before this...my mom...died, and my dad went a little crazy. He didn't know how to express his emotions so he took them out on me..." I began.
I looked up and saw Carmin's lip trembling.
"Maybe I shouldn't talk about this, it's not a positive subject." I said.
"No Chandler I need to know...what did he do to you?" She asks with a shaky voice.
"He abused me. Mentally, physically, sexually." I said quietly, my voice cracking.
"He would tell me I was worthless, a fuck up, that my mom committed suicide because of me..." I say on the verge of tears thinking about my mom.
"That's where the cutting and self harm began... I would come home and he'd hit me until I was bruised, broken, or bleeding. That's when I started abusing drugs and alcohol...to numb the pain. And then one day he was drunk to the core and...and he..." I couldn't say it. It's been 3 years an I still couldn't say he raped me. It was embarrassing, how do you tell your girlfriend that your father is the person who took your virginity? I looked up and saw Carmin had tears running down her face.
"He raped you?" She asks in this small squeaky voice.
I nodded, my eyes burning from trying not to cry so hard. She climbed on too of me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me.
I cried into her shoulder and tried to forget the memory. I have a feeling that's all I'll ever be doing. Trying to forget the memories.
•••
Authors Note!
Okay so I'm sorry for the late update, I went to Oregon for spring break and left my phone at home...so I couldn't update so I'll try to get another chapter up soon!
Love you madly,
-Scars and Bruises
IG:||Cupcake.Riggs