The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #10

Each day that passes by, the words carved on the wooden desk are slowly filling up its entirety. Pinasadahan ko ng haplos ang mesa. Napangisi ako sa gaspang ng bawat letra sa aking palad. Pinapaalala nito ang mumunting pagsuway...at ang pagkakaroon ng kausap kahit sa hindi conventional na paraan.

Well, at least I have someone to talk to. Unlike before when I had to wait for the moment with someone who would picque my interest based on the run of conversation that we have. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang lumingon sa mga kaklase ko.

Halos lahat sila, maiingay. Mga tipong...walang hiya. It's not that I hate them. In fact, I also want to jive in but I just couldn't keep up with their energy. May bilang sa daliring tahimik. The problem is, I could not match their interest about their favorite movies. Hindi talaga ako iyong tipong mahilig manood ng series o kaya ay pelikula. I would rather stare at the wall the whole day. The music they listen to is not my cup of tea either. Their humor is not the kind of humor I would like to laugh at.

Kaya heto, nakaupo akong mag-isa sa gilid. They don't mind me, anyways. I'm cool with them. It's just a matter of understanding personal space.

Ilang beses na akong napapabuntong-hininga, nakasandal sa likod ng upuan habang nakataas ang mga binti sa mesa. Walang kaso naman iyon sa mga kaklase ko dahil sanay na sila at iilan na lang kaming natira.

We have our own worlds during vacant time. Kumbaga, walang pakialamanan. Dito muna ako tatambay. May ten minutes pa bago ang susunod na subject. Miss Reyes, who didn't leave our classroom yet, is frowning while typing on her laptop.

The continuous taps of my fingertips at the wooden desk bring a forgotten thought. Umayos ako ng upo at hinanap ang sinulat noong nakaraan, kuryuso kung nasundan pa ba ng ibang salita. It did. My breath heaves. A smile appears on my lips.

'Paper. Under the table.'

Kumunot ang noo ko. This one seems like a code to decipher, only that the clue is explicit - something even a newbie would understand.

Even when I was confused, I tried to search underneath the desk. May nakapa akong lukot na papel. Immediately, I opened it.

'Suit yourself, then. You're gonna say hello to the detention room soon.'

Noong araw na isinulat niya iyon, parehas sa araw na kailangan namin magpintura ng pader. Kahapon. Kung sino ka man, huli ka na sa balita.

I grip on the pen and write my respond just one space below the words I've just read.

'IDC! I'm having fun~'

And just like that, a form of communication begins. It's been two weeks when we started talking like this. Kasi napupuno na nga ng vandal sa ibabaw ng desk. Hindi ko desisyon, sa kaniya, kung sino man itong kausap ko dahil hindi ko naman siya kilala.

Actually, it's more convenient for me. I don't have to exert such effort to carve only few words on the table anymore, kasi nalilimitahan 'yong gusto kong sabihin. Samantalang sa papel, isisipit ko lang sa isang sulok sa ilalim ng deks, tapos na.

Nagdaan ang ilang araw na ganoon ang siste namin ng kung sino. I am always the one who keep the papers. Whenever a sheet is already filled up, I am always the one who tend to use a clear one. Pagkatapos mapuno, ako ulit ang magpapalit ng malinis na papel hanggang mapuno ulit iyon. Lahat ng mga pinagsulatan namin sa nakalipas na mga araw, nasa bag ko lang. Pakiramdam ko tuloy, ako lang ang nag-eeffort at sinasakyan niya lang kung ano ang trip ko. I always do the tease. The other reprimands but does the same violation.

Nonetheless, it eased the isolation I felt. We talked about a lot of things. I've also come to find out that he was a guy after asking his preferable pronouns. Naalala ko tuloy iyong black na ballpen sa ilalim ng desk. He admitted that it was his.