The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #18

Planning out something for a special day could have the possibility to be postponed. Meanwhile, there are days when you just decide to go with the flow and the circumstances are in favoured with you. Most of the time, I honestly don't understand how life works fairly and not.

After the hug a while ago, we were just silent but there's a sense of comfort. It feels good to unleash the ghost of the past. I hope he can, too. But seeing the genuine smile painted on his face, I think we're on the same page now. The tears we shed, I hope, can grow into a full bloom of new beginnings.

“Iyakin ka rin pala, ano?” asar ko sa kaniya.

I don't know if it was effective to make the atmosphere lighter, though. I know that crying won't make him less of a guy, more so, a human. In fact, we may cry due to overflowing emotions, it is something that reminds us about being a human. We feel pain, we feel sorrow, we experience rejections. Minsan naman sa sobrang saya tayo napapaluha. I think, acknowledging what we truly feel in a certain moment is reminding us that we are still capable to feel.

“Hindi kaya. Ngayon lang,” aniya at saka umiwas ng tingin.

“Oo, naniniwala ako sa 'yo,” I said.

“Totoo kaya 'yon!”

Though, he did not convince me enough. He's getting redder and redder! I can't help but to laugh as I stare at my own masterpiece—his blushed face. Nag-iwas siya ng tingin sa akin. Kaharap na tuloy ng kaniyang mukha ang papalubog na araw. The rays make his built a silhouette and behind him is the green plain.

It's a nice view so I take a shot through my phone camera. Narinig niya ang pag-click nito kaya nagtataka siyang bumaling sa akin. Agad kong tinago ang hawak.

“Two years na lang, sa'n mo balak mag-college?” tanong niya bigla.

Oo nga 'no? I shrug my shoulders off and force a laugh. “Actually, hindi ko pa alam pati nga kukunin kong course, e. I'm not even planning na mag senior high.”

“There will be a time, you're gonna know about it. Two years might be a short span of time, pero maraming pwedeng mangyari,” he said.

E, siya kaya? Of his calibre, for sure he'll going to choose a prestigious university. There are so many opportunities waiting for him ahead. Would he just stay in St. Angelus? In this small-town life?

“Uh,” I bite my lip. “Ikaw, anong kukunin mong course?”

“Sa ngayon? Hati pa ang isipan ko ng... siguro mga eighty percent? Austronautics fascinates me but I really want to be a chemist,” he answered.

I can clearly see the passion that twinkles in his dreamy eyes. My insides suddenly feel hollow and worries rush down on me as I listen.

“Alam mo ba, I once said to my mother that I wanted to be an astronaut. Pabiro ko lang sinabi iyon, ah pero alam mo kung anong reaksiyon niya?” he wiggles his eyebrows as he sheepishly grins at me.

Umiling ako. "Did she get amazed?"

He chuckles, but a faint of sadness passed in his eyes. “Hindi. Dapat daw 'yong hindi masyadong kumplikado. Gusto niya ng sure win.”

“Ayos ka lang ba doon?”

“May panghihinayang kaunti pero...you know, a mere fascination is different from what really urges you to become successful. Gustong-gusto ko maging chemist, 'yong sa perfumes, ah? Imagine, 'yong itinuturing mong artwork at masterpiece, isusuot ng mga tao araw-araw o kaya sa mga espesyal na okasyon sa buhay nila.”

There are really people who exist and know what they wanna be in the future, like they already know what their purpose is in this lifetime. They've been driven by passion and inspirations. They have good grades in academics. They perform well in school.