The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #35

While still in the dazzled state with the frenzy thuds of my heart and pulses of my veins, my mouth turns wide open from the kiss. My palm, on Rico's shoulder, pushes him away from me with no strength at all. But he, oh, he dips his head again for a second touch. Gustuhin ko mang magpatuloy, mas nanaig sa akin ang katotohanang nasa iisang bubong si Oliver Mandeville at Florence.

And that for sure, my mother already went havoc.

I cannot just stay here, being a slave to Rico's kisses and touch as the fire of youthful love ignites with the worry I have in mind. Kaya naman buong lakas ko siyang pinalayo sa akin.

“What's wrong?” he grunts, breathless.

“Kailangan kong umuwi. My father . . . H-He's back h-home.”

Just staring by the gentle flicker of his brown eyes, I know that he's gonna understand. He always does. He sighs. “Hatid na kita. Kakalma lang saglit.”

And this time, he still did. He kisses my forehead. Kaya naman pagbaba ko sa sasakyang ginamit para ihatid ako, hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng ano pa mang segundo. “Take care. I love you.”

The pace of my steps is that of the ticking clock. Faster and faster as I draw nearer towards the door.

Umingit ang pinto sa sahig pagkapasok ko. In my mind, I already imagine what sight will meet once i go in. Si mama na sumisigaw sa sakit dahil bumabalik ang mga alaala tungkol sa mga panggagago ni papa at pangbababae. Si Ate Marley na umaalalay kay mama habang si papa ay magbabasag na naman ng mga muwebles na malapit sa kaniya.

Through the years of growing up, I've seen it countless of times. And the ending is always us getting abandoned by him.

But as I step on the fainted red rug that says 'WELCOME', a solemnity slaps me. My parents are peacefully talking with each other while sitting on the ragged sofa. Gulat ang bumalot sa akin. I don't know what to feel about it. I was ready to throw a fit, to become my mother's shield, or to speak the words that will make my father leave this house again. To witness a scenario opposite to what I have expected, confusion comes over me.

Ate Marley is on the side. Tila naninimbang din siya. Her eyes fly at me for a second. Relief comes through as she calls my name. Dahil doon, dumapo na rin ang mga paningin ng aking nga magulang sa akin. Biting my tongue inside, I actually do not know what to say. But then, it does not stop me to throw cold stares at my father, Oliver Mandeville, who happens to visit us out of a sudden after leaving few years ago because he chose to cheat with I-don't-know-who.

Gustong-gusto kong tanungin kung bakit pa siya bumalik, kung bakit pa siya nagpakita sa mama ko. However, when I take a glance on my mother's weak smile, as if accepting whatever it is that they have agreed upon, I halt.

“Eshang,” tawag ni mama. Lumunok ako nang tumayo siya mula sa pagkakaupo at naglakad papunta sa akin. She just envelops me with her warm hug as I keep on having eye contact with my father. The changes on his appearance are noticeable. He looks much older from the visible wrinkles on his skin, thick stubbles, old flannel and jeans, up to his hair turning into grey, as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders. But his eyes in the color same as mine, I find no guilt. In his stance that screams proudness, I find no regrets.

“Tell your daughter that my plan to sell this property, both house and lot is impossibly unstoppable. And that you should leave too soon. I gotta go.”