The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #28

“Freesia, where are you going?!”

I hear rushed jogs of Rico behind me. Sumunod pala siya? Tumaas ang kilay kong napalingon sa kaniya. Kanina, pa-Eshang Eshang pa siya. Bakit ngayon, Freesia na?

Low grunts and hard exhales of breath escape his mouth. Panic passes through his face. His left hand is still holding the hardcopy of his reviewer. Sukbit na rin niya sa isang balikat ang itim na bag pack. I purse my lips when I get to have a chance to look at his physique. Plain white shirt with the blue rectangle logo of a typical brand is embroidered on one of his sleeves quite hugs his biceps that seem to be visibly bulging than before. The well-ironed black slacks uniform and black leather shoes reminds me of him being neat and a paragon of good student. Not to mention his high faded classic French haircut that makes me wonder what would be his appearance be like if he'd let it grow longer. Would it be as wavy as mine?

I terminate those distracting thoughts for it outshines the irritation I feel. Inayos ko ang paghawak sa strap ng bag kong halos walang laman bago sinalubong ang tingin niya. “Magre-review,” sagot ko. “Gaya ng sabi mo kanina.”

His brows meet in confusion. “Then let's go back inside the library.”

Humalakhak ako. Nanatili ang kalituhan sa kaniyang mukha. Though, his eyes trace down my lips, up my nose and back to my eyes. I sigh, deep as a forgotten wishing well.

“I can't. The environment doesn't work for me. Kung gusto mo, maiwan ka. Hindi mo naman ako kailangang sundan,” I admit.

As much as I want to be with him, I have to be honest, right? A contemplation passes through him as his eyes move sideways. Hesitation is evident too, which I understand. Kaniya-kaniya naman kasi tayo ng effective study habits. Nang hindi nakakuha ng sagot sa kaniya, tumalikod na ako at tumakbo patungo sa likod ng abandonadong building. My footsteps echo against the hallways as I run.

I almost halt when I see the clear white wall. Bumagal ang mga hakbang ko. The big middle finger I painted in bright color is not there anymore. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang may pumunit sa loob ko nang nakitang malinis na ulit iyon. Panghihinayang ba? Ewan ko.

Come to think of it, I did not do it again nor my other shenanigans. I am not cutting classes nor vandalizing anywhere in the school premises since Rico and I became closer. Is the white paint a comparison of the clarity between us to have a new start? Or something that only covers up the past that is still there? After all, if it's not because of the paint, what I have vandalized here could still be seen. At kahit natakpan na ng pintura, alam kong nandoon pa rin naman iyon.

“Sama ako, Eshang!” shouts Rico which makes the resting birds on the trees fly away. I peek at him through the curtain of my hair. He is still far, and running after me. Bakit ba niya ako sinundan?

Nervousness seeps through my spine up to my knees. My legs suddenly have their own minds that I just find myself running on the other side. Binato ko ang bag sa kabilang banda nang nasa harapan na ako ng pader. I jump as high as I can for my hands to reach and grab the highest part of the wall. When I successfully did it, I hoist my toes against the wall and proceed to climb it with all my might.  Nang makarating na sa tuktok, inayos ko ang upo at hinintay si Rico.

Lumawak ang ngisi sa aking labi. It is so fulfilling to be able to do what you want while your heart is beating so fast for the thrill. Ramdam ko pa rin ang kalabog ng dibdib kahit na malamyos nang sinusuyo ng hangin at sikat ng araw ang aking balat. My feet dangle together in their own rhythm.

Nang tanaw ko na siya sa baba, itinikom ko nang kaunti ang mga palad at inilagay sa magkabilang gilid ng bunganga. Tinawag ko ang pangalan niya. His eyeballs almost pop out of there sockets in shock. A lopsided grin comes from me.