The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #11

When the universe is not in favoured with you, things would really mess up. It is very frustrating to think how they tend to not work the way you want them to be. I could not move mountains just to make things I want be easily attainable to the hand.

It's Friday. It means that we only have two subjects for today - PE for morning and TLE in the afternoon.

Seniors said that it's because physical activities are for the rising sun. Creative moments are for the drowsy winds of the afternoon. I'm not sure if it's true, though. Kahit naman sa dis-oras ng gabi, nakakapagtahi ako.

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa TLE room. It's a separate classroom full of students' crafts and other creative outputs made by hand.

I peak through the window pane. The two buildings are done. Bumalik na rin sa usual na schedule ang klase. It's been a month. I just realize that we're halfway to graduation. Wala pa akong plano pagkatapos.

Since malapit na nga ang graduation, we focus more on the active partipation outputs rather than written works. Since all sections have the same schedule during Fridays, teachers tend to mix us up with other sections. Depende nga lang kung sinong teacher ang nagtuturo at kung anong sections ang may sabay na iti-take na lessons.

Unlike Miss Reyes, the teacher at our second subject is less strict. I like it here, the atmosphere and decorations are screaming a pure laid-back vibe. Underneath the wooden desk is a blanket finely folded in rectangular form. There are plastered stitches on the walls which I believe are ours. Hinanap ko ang akin kaso naalala kong itinakas ko pala pauwi noon. That mere activity led me to what I really love to do the most right now - knitting.

Bumukas ang pinto. Langitngit nito sa sahig at ang singkit na mga mata ni Mrs. Lauchenco ang bumati sa amin ngunit hindi iyon ang ikinatuod ko sa kinauupuan.

I was dumbfounded for a second when behind our teacher were the students from the first section. My sight flies to the familiar guy whose eyes are roaming around the room.

Just when I thought I had escaped from him, Rico appeared on my sight again!

Napamaang ako, saglit na dumako ang paningin sa buhok niya, sa mga mata na parang sa lawin kung tumingin, at sa tindig niya.

Saglit lang iyon dahil nagmamadali siyang pumasok. Parang may bumara sa lalamunan ko. His classmates follow suit. Tahimik sila. They're even formed in line when they went in.

I pout. He didn't see me. Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang umirap. My toes are folded in frustration but wherefore I don't know why. Damn, why am I so irrational today?

With scrunched nose, my mind is now wondering why they're here. Even my classmates are intently staring at the new comers. I presume that it's all about our activities on this subject I have no willingness to do.

Why do teachers always give task that can't be willingly done by students? Either a dance performance even if some can't break a leg or a singing portion even when there are students that aren't gifted with a golden voice, for instance.

Ah, for grades. Tanginang grades 'yan. I've realized that the ten years of my life has been wasted for I kept on worrying about numbers.

Tapos ang sasabihin ng karamihan, para makapag-explore sa labas ng comfort zone. E, sa ayaw ko nga. How can I grow outside of my horizon if I still haven't bloom within? Confidence is innate, I believe. It would reflect if it's forced. Been there, done that...and I learned the hard way.

Mrs. Lauchenco stands in front wearing her wide smile. "Hello! May mga sasabay sa inyo ngayon para minsanan na lang, 'no."

My stiff sitting position loosens a bit because of the teacher's warm energy. Kumalma rin ang mumunting kalabog sa aking dibdib kahit papaano.

I cast out my gaze from them. Perhaps, there's nothing interesting about it. Yet, I can still see him in the corner of my eyes. As Rico walks fast beside my seat, the afternoon breeze is sipping by the open window, making my hair swiftly move. Ba't laging parang may effect kapag malapit siya?

The teacher claps to get our attention. "Plano ko kasi, pag-isahin na lang lahat ng sections sa activity na 'to. Since hindi ko na-excuse 'yong apat pang sections, gano'n na lang din ang gagawin. I'm just gonna let them decide which section they prefer to be their partner."

"Ang dami talagang pakulo ni Ma'am Lauchenco," bulong ko. But deep inside me, there's a vague excitement.

"Your sections will be combined and partners will be based on your surnames."

Whispers of questions and undeniable excitement fill the room. However, my sunken hope is not rejoicing. Disappointment arises within while thinking how far Mandeville is to Alvarez. Twelve letters are in between. Then, how many students do have a surname in just one letter?

Teka nga, bakit ko naman pinagkukumpara ang apelyido namin? E, ano naman kung hindi kami magkapartner? I mentally shake my head, erasing the disgusting idea.

Ngunit hindi ko pa rin napigilan ang ulong sumulyap sa likuran. Nahanap ng aking mga mata ang binatang naging sanhi ng pagkakawala ng mood ko kanina. His palm is fisted under his chin. Eyes are painted with seriousness while staring into nothingness.

But suddenly, it seems like the universe randomly matches my existence to his and stars get realigned for Rico blinks once and there he finds my stare. Something jerks inside my chest, wondering why the cosmos is spoiling me some shits of hope. However, I am still praying that it won't end up in a trash bin of black hole. The shock in his eyes mirrors mine. I feel my eyes almost popped out of their sockets when our gazes meet. Nonetheless, I avert my gaze.

"All in all, there will be three groups," the teacher adds.

Enhancing Oneself is the title of the activity, from using various decorative nail polishes and basic skin cares to applying make ups and cosmetics with the best outfits on. I like the classroom here but why do I need to do all of that? I don't dress to impress. I don't fish for compliments either. And as far as I know, this not-so-delicate face is somewhat allergic to any cosmetics. Kaya hindi ko alam kung papasa ba ako sa subject na ito ngayon.

Matamang tinitigan ni Ma'am Lauchenco sa harapan ang nakalapag na forms kung nasaan ang listahan ng mga pangalan nila at nagsimulang mag-trace gamit ang lapis . Ilang sandali pa'y nagulat ako nang tahimik na lumapit sa kaniya si Rico.

Salubong ang kilay ni Mrs. Lauchenco na nakikinig sa kung anong sinasabi niya. Itinukod ko ang aking mga siko at bahagyang lumapit at sinubukan ding pakinggan ang sinasabi niya.

It's barely audible because my classmates' noise is overtaking the scene. A shame to Rico's classmates who remain quiet at the back. Kaunti na lang at iisipin ko nang sa kanila ako belong kaso may usapan pa sa pagiging matalino kaya palyado.

"Ma'am, I have a new suggestion. I suggest you select partners based on the first letter of the name itself," he slowly says in his usual low baritone voice.

Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Why would Rico insist such thing? Is he aware that we have the same first letter on our names? Dumagundong ang kaba sa dibdib ko dahil sa narinig.

Wait, did he really say that? Perhaps my ears are playing tricks again.

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mary mnemosynth