The Seat We Sit On (HFS #1)

seat #33

Ang bilis ng mga araw. Parang kailan lang, bangag kami ng isang linggo. I just finished enrolling for Grade 12. Sabi sa amin, kami na ang magiging last batch ng strand namin dahil kaunti lang ang interesadong mag-take ayon sa survey sa junior high school students. Sadness envelopes me. A frown on my mouth escapes.

Nakakapanghinayang.

"Sining isn't really the focus here in this developing country," Maddie grunts.

"Arat, meryenda?"

"Saan?"

Nauna ang enrollment ng Collins High kaysa sa amin. So, Rico's school year has already started, the reason why he is not with me this time. Nagkayayaan na lang kami sa isang simpleng food stall sa tabi. Then, we part ways with them waving at me as they ride a tricycle.

"Nakauwi ka na ba?" Rico's voice echoes in my ear as I adjust my hold on the phone.

"Hmm," I nod, as if he sees me.

My face crumples when the needle pricks the tip of my forefinger. Blood drips. I suck it immediately.

Shuta! This handkerchief I'm working on is a lot of work.

"How's enrollment?"

"Tapos na," I sigh. "Kami na 'yong last batch ng strand namin."

The call ended with lots of my rants about it and Rico's agreement on them.

The academic year started several days after. Naging busy din kami agad. Minsan nga, inaabot na ako nang gabi. Rico fetches me often, so he goes home late often, too. Kahit na sabihin kong huwag na niya akong sunduin dahil madalas kong marinig na pinapagalitan na siya ni Mrs. Alvarez tuwing sinasagot niya ang tawag nito.

One night, I am still with my groupmates in theatre acting. They're still pushing me to be one of the main characters but I prefer working behind the curtains. I, in fact, volunteered in making the props, especially the back drops.

"Sige na kasi," pilit ng isa. "Partner na kayo ni Ronan!"

"Yieee!"

Tinulak-tulak nila si Ronan sa akin. My shoulder bumps on his chest. The sudden lack of space gives me uncomfort. And so, my smile vanished as I was put to the spotlight all of a sudden.

"Oy, may jowa 'yan!"

Ronan cocks his head to the side and smirks at me. "Bakit? Kayo pa rin ba?"

I stiffen. What is it to him? "Oo."

"'Sus. Kailan kayo maghihiwalay?"

"Ano, Freesia? Ikaw na kasi 'yong bida!" our leader shouts. She sits on the farthest.

My chest heaves. The pressure of their stares are excruciatingly putting me on a dilemma. Ni isa sa lima, hindi ko kagrupo.

It's fine to refuse, isn't it? Pero noong nag-transfer ako, I tried to eradicate the old me. Sabi ko, susubukan kong makisama. Susubukan kong magkaroon ng kaibigan. Ayaw kong magpaka-loner ulit. I've been there. Transferring here is a rebranding. But then, some instances like this make me think of being selfish again. Of having guts to not even blink as I refuse. In my own world, in my own solitude.