Coffee Talks: Proses And Roses

Comparison

One of the most important things my psychiatrist told me is to never compare my life to others. Especially on social media. I told myself a lot of times that staying too much on Instagram isn't good for me. All because I see imperfections within myself that I feel is not good enough. Not likeable enough. Not worthy enough to be posted online.

Oftentimes, I see girls who posts so much about their bodies---how flat their stomachs are and how slim they look in their swimsuits.

I don't hold any hint of grudges towards them. But I hate myself for thinking too much. Why can't I be like that? Why can't I wear the same clothes or apply the same make-up? Why can't I be like them?

Overthinking about a lot of things often leads me to experience sadness. Seclusion. A series of doubts and questions in my head that keeps asking: am I really enough?

Insecurity is something that I can't quite control. When it gets to me, it gets to me. There seems to be no way for me to let it go. Because everywhere I look, my brain always finds something to be insecured about. Wherever I stay, there's always something that tells me 'I hope I wasn't me' or that 'I wish I never existed at all'.

If you're like me, who scrolls too much online, I guess it's about time we limit ourselves doing it. I remember my doctor telling me that the online world isn't genuine. Models that are almost perfect-looking experiences breakdowns and anxiety, too. Celebrities who seems to appear too beautiful deals with their own battles that we don't see online.

And I agree, okay. There are much more important things to be worried about. Things like finding ways for us to love ourselves, to accept our flaws, and be genuinely happy.

Comparison steals joy. I hope we keep remembering that.