Coffee Talks: Proses And Roses

To You, Tsubasa

My wonderful friend, Tsubasa, died yesterday. I couldn't process the idea of not having him around anymore. We were inseparable during our high school days with our small group of friends. And now one of us---the best one, in fact---left us too soon.

Experiencing grief isn't my cup of tea. I've never truly lost a friend before. This is the first time that it happened to me and it almost seems surreal to believe.

I'll forever remember him by his sweetest smiles and kindness. And although he was gone too early, I know for a fact that he'll always be alive in my heart.

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Life has always been this complex. We are given the opportunity to experience joy, smiles, and laughter. But somehow bound to experience the pain of losing a loved one, too. And to be quite honest, it's harder than I expected.

It makes me feel sad. Depressed, even. I would no longer wake up in the morning and wait for my friend's messages about his college life and new hobbies. I would no longer hug him in person and thank him for everything he has done for me.

All those scenarios I once formed in my head would only remain as an imagination. An illusion that I know I'd always, always long for.

It's hard to think about my friend passing away too soon. He could've achieved so many wonderful things with his talent and love for games and anime. He could've finished college and build a family of his own. He could've spent a little more time with us. With his family. With his friends.

To you, Tsubasa, if you're reading this, I only hope that you are in a much better place. A place you can call home. A safe place where you can do anything you want; with no one to hold you back.

No more pain, love. I am beyond blessed for knowing you in this lifetime. Thank you for your existence.

I love you.