Painful Sight

26

Betty's POV
I haven't heard from Jughead in days, he's in school but he's ignoring me...I've been really depressed about it, I was at the Blue and Gold working on homework.

Suddenly I heard "Betty?"

I then asked "who is that?"

Suddenly I heard "it's Archie, you okay?"

I frowned and said "Jughead...how is he?"

He sighed and said "honestly...he has been showing up to school less."

I frowned and said "I don't know what to do...I don't wanna loose my chance at Yale...but I don't wanna loose the one guy I've found that loves me for who I am, that's rare..."

He laughed and said "sorry."

I shook my head saying "I'm just scared..."

He rubbed my back and I said "how do you and Kevin do it honestly?"

He sighed and said "it's because we just...I'm honestly not sure either, but what I do know is we want the other to be happy with or without one another."

I smiled and said "Kevin by the way has told me that Jughead's dick is bigger then yours."

He laughed and I laughed too as I said "could you take me to him? I need to be with him."

He then said "come on."

I nodded and we left. We arrived and he helped me up the stairs of the trailer and I knocked on the door.

I then heard "Betty..."

I smiled saying "Juggie...can we talk please?"

He let me in and I said "why are you ignoring me, my messages, my phone calls, I even sent a letter! Which by the way! It was extremely difficult to write! And you know how I feel about texting!"

I frowned and said "what's wrong?"

He then said "it's not Yale, I'm fine with you going to Yale Betty."

I then asked "what is it then?"

He gulped and said "because...because I can't live up to you."

I was confused and he said "I didn't get into my safe school."

I frowned and said "I'm sorry Juggie...but you applied for more right? What about those?"

He then said "what's the point, if my safe school doesn't accept me how will the others."

I frowned saying "Juggie...I didn't know..."

He then said "I didn't want to be a burden."

I yelled "your no burden! I'm the one who's blind! I'm the burden! I can't see you! Tell you your handsome! Look at sunlight or moonlight! Go to movies normally I can't...I can't hold your face and look into your eyes when we have sex! Kiss! Hug! When I told you I loved you! Because I don't feel like I meant it but I do but it's because I can look into your eyes and tell you I love you!"

I sniffled and said "so Jughead if you fucking tell me your the burden then fine! Fine! Fucking be a burden by not being able to trust me when I'm trying everyday to prove I love you but everyday I don't feel like I'm enough! And you tell me everyday it doesn't matter! It matters to me! Because I don't feel like I love you enough! I'm the burden not you!"

I screamed and cried as I rubbed my head.

I cried out saying "I'll just go...you won't listen to me either way..."

I tried finding the door till I felt his hand, he suddenly twirled me around and he kissed me, I held his arms and he stopped.

I heard him crying as he said "why didn't you tell me? That you feel like you don't love me enough?"

I sighed and said "cause I didn't want to be a burden Jug...I love you so much...but it's not the same...and you know it too, you can look at me and tell me you love me all the time...but all I see is white, darkness, nothing.

I sniffled and said "I get that it's not the movies but...I just...I would love to just...hold your face look right at your eyes and feel that spark a millions times stronger when I tell you I love, I feel it but it's not a spark...it feel like we just lit up a match and nothing more not trying to be rude but...I just...I just don't know why I feel like this..."

I frowned and he said "I'm so so sorry Betty...I didn't know."

I smiled saying "because I wanted you to know I loved you no matter what...I just didn't want to tell you how I felt."

I smiled gently as he said "I'll look at my other colleges..."

I sighed and I said "I'll be right here Juggie...I'm not gonna leave you if you don't get into a school and your definitely not a burden..."

He then said "okay..."

He kissed me and I kissed back as we went to his computer and started figuring all this out.

I smiled as I said "come on Juggie start opening them...I'll be right here if you need me..."

He then said "okay..."

I smiled and laid back gently as I waited for him to finish. After a few minutes he shut his laptop.

I said "so...did you get into any?"

I said smiling and he said "I got into...more than half."

I smiled and hugged him and he held me.

I said "so...which one do you think?"

He then said "I'm unsure...the two closest colleges are...NYU and...don't judge me I didn't think I'd get in...but I got into Princeton..."

I gasped and yelled "Jughead!"

He laughed and I lunged at him and hugged him, he laughed holding me.

I said "this is amazing! H-how! Why not tell me!"

He laughed saying "it was a long shot, my history grades aren't that good but they saw a lot of my writing from previous years..."

I smiled and kissed his cheek saying "I'm proud of you, I'm more than proud, I'm...AHHH!"

He laughed and said "but NYU is closer by like half an hour? An hour?"

I then said "take the chance, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity!"

He then said "and money?"

I sighed and said "it's gonna be okay alright?"

I hugged him and he held me and I asked "so...what's our next step?"

He said "prom, then graduation..."

I smiled and kissed his cheek.