The way you should be loved

Chapter Thirty One Jordan

* warning sexual content +18 *

I really wish that they would shut up about their fuckng wedding and just as much as they keep asking me about business and my job. I wish they would all cut it out and leave me alone. I didn't want to be here. I was told to come. Maybe I can cheer myself up by having some fun. I look over at the happy couple, it should be me sitting next to her and not my brother. But I blew it. I feel the hate running through my body. Normally I am goofy, cheerful, polite and charming not anymore I'm bitter, twisted, angry and very jealous of my brother. You would say my eyes aren't chocolate brown but green with jealousy. I bring my foot up against her leg. Now we play.

"Jon please stop it" says Beth.

" Stop what?".

"Playing footsie under the table in front of our folks" she replies.

" But I am not".

"Maybe I just felt something".

Beth catches me smirking at her. She glares at me but I return with a smouldering look back. I feel her move her legs away from my reach. I give her a 'why did you do that for' kinda look. I know she wants me to leave her alone but it ain't happening. I know she still loves me. Why else would they still be planning their wedding?. I am going to make her feel uncomfortable like she is doing to me. Two can play that game. In between main and dessert, she was still talking to Jon about their plans.

" We think you two should get a wedding planner to help. Of course, we will pay for one".

"I think we will be ok. There's no need to rush things. I know people who don't marry each other for at least five years of being engaged".

" But I think it helps us".

"OK, I will think about it. It could take a lot of stress of it".

" OK, we do then".

"We shall". All I hear now during dinner is blah blah blah blah. It makes me sick to my stomach. Oh really I thought as I looked up and there she was kissing his cheek making all lovey-dovey. I can't take any more of this. I'm going. I get up from my seat.

" What are you doing, Jordan?" asks mom.

"I remember I have to do something at the office" as I was up on my feet.

"What about dessert?".

" It needs to be done".

"It can wait until tomorrow. It's Monday tomorrow".

" No, it needs to done. It can't wait". I left the room against mom's wishes.

"That is going to be a great businessman in the making".

" Just let him choose what he wants to do. No wonder we lost him for a year so he could get away from you two draining the life out of him".

"I'm sorry, dear," says dad.

I still hear most of their conversation as I left. Why do I always want what I can't have?".

I didn't go to the office like I said. I went to the bar and drowned my sorrows in beer, alcohol and hopefully sex. But the alcohol didn't take the pain away. All I could see was the happy couple. Maybe sex is needed then. I pushed my empty bottle around the bar where I sat. I don't noticed someone sit next to me.

"I will have a white wine splitter and he will have whatever he is having".

" Not really needed" a bottle of beer gets placed in front of me. "Thanks" as I take a sip. I have had three already I'm a little drunk now.

Certain thoughts that leave me so rock hard and wanting. To the point, I can't stop the need, the want of my drug called Beth. She will always be mine even if she is almost married to my brother. I use the girls to relieve my ache and desire. That and my hand can't relieve that want for my drug. I have an obsession with her. My body needs her touch now especially since I kissed her in my office. It's like a forbidden fruit. Something I am not allowed to touch but I can't help it. I need it. I want it. I can't live without it. I guess that's why it's like a drug. Every time I jerk myself off or have sex with an unknown bimbo. But it's not the same as having Beth.

"Hey there gorgeous" replies a blonde. I drunkenly smile at her and almost fall on top of her to her delight as I move around in my seat.

"Hey there sexy" I slurred.

She is a typical blonde with kissable lips. She also had large breasts and legs that go on for days. I like blondes, long legs and large breasts. Damn, she will be the lucky one tonight. I definitely will fuck her. I look at her and lick my lips. The drink is going to my head, well it's the three beers I had tonight. My head is swimming just staying afloat. I lean forward and kiss her on lips. She then holds me there and we are battling with each other tongues. This is so what I need. This night out is going from bad to worse to stupidity. Let's have some fun drunk Jordan I thought.

We leave the bar together. The blonde is helping me stay up on my feet. I feel a bit woozy and sick now but horny as shit. I can feel my arousal swell against my tight jeans. We disappear down a dark alley next to the bar just by the car park. I am so intoxicated I don't care we are in the slight open. But where we are there isn't much light. Not only am I intoxicated by the alcohol I am intoxicated by her strong perfume smell. I push her up against the wall as my lips devour hers. Mmm, she tastes so sweet. Suddenly I move away quickly and vomited nearby. OK, three too many beers as I didn't finish the one she got me. I wipe my mouth on my sleeve.

"Well, this is fun" as I move away from her, I sobered up a bit. She is no Beth. Both of us were intoxicated so she pulled me back by my tee-shirt and she kissed me again.

"You ain't going anywhere," she says "I want some and I know you do too".

She ain't wrong as I do want some. I went to kiss her again. I groan as she undoes my belt and pulls my zipper down. Suddenly her hand is in my pants. My hips buck against her as she touches me. It's just drunk sex, meanless drunk sex. My hand runs up her leg and under her very short dress that barely covers her ass.

" What are you waiting for mister?".

OK. I remove a condom from my wallet. I pull my pants and briefs down. I kiss her as I roll the condom on my cock. Mmm wearing a dress is so much easier as I just pull off her panties. I wrap her legs around me and lift her up by her ass. I push myself in fast and hard all the way. She gasps as I fill her up. There we were having drunk sex in the alley.

The rest of the night was a blur. I woke up the next morning in a strange bed, a strange room with one massive hangover. What the fuck have I done? I feel very sick. I needed to be at work. Shit an hour ago. I get back home as I still don't have my own place yet. So I'm staying at my parents. Lucky both aren't here. I crawl into bed drunkenly forgetting that I'm late for work as it is.

When I woke up I felt worse than when I went to sleep. My conscious was playing up with me. How can it? We aren't in a relationship as she is with my brother. My body longs for Beth but I can't have her. I force myself out of bed as my stomach is telling me I'm hungry. I have sobered up a bit as I'm not so wobbly now. I change into a pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. Then went downstairs to make me some food and coffee. The only thing I could stomach was scrambled eggs and strong black coffee. I finished up without gagging while waiting for my Uber. Now with food inside me, I did feel a little better. There I go to work five hours late hoping when I get there beth is on lunch and she won't see the drunken me...